Jill Victoria

Two years ago in Valentine’s Day of 2008, I was dumped by my then boyfriend. Even though it was not the most pleasant thing in the world to endure on a day I wasn’t already fond of, that day turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened to me.

I knew it was over with Thomas way before Valentine’s Day. In all honesty, I was pretty relieved when he broke up with me. Thomas was a nice guy, but definitely not the guy for me.

By that day, I had already met and gone on a blind date with David. I suppose it could be considered cheating, but the date I went on with David was chaperoned by Krista and Spencer, and nothing even close to romantic happened other than David opening the car door for me.

Its hard to believe that a break up on Valentine’s Day two years ago lead me to a marriage. But, I suppose that every break up eventually leads to a marriage. Or at least to a long-term relationship.

That breakup was just one of the stepping stones on the way to my husband and the love of my life. Not every ending destroys a happily ever after.

I have to say, I have had an excellent 26 years of life!

Despite the hardships and trials, I’ve experienced a fabulous life. This past year of my life was the most life changing ever, for obvious reasons. It’s hard to believe that David and I got engaged on my 25th birthday and by my 26th we are husband and wife.

I had a great birthday! Though nothing could top an engagement ring as a birthday present, my gift this year came close. I received a Kindle from my dear husband… and myself! I love it and as an avid reader and gadget girl, this was the best of both worlds!

For my birthday David made me a strawberry cheesecake and a Key Lime pie! Both were very delicious! I visited my grandfather, who is now in a nursing home here in Fayetteville. He is at one of the best places around, and my new family full of doctors are close by and operating the facility. I know he’s in good hands there.

I went with David, brother (in-law) John, Emily, Jonathan, Chrispy and Mandy up to Chow Baby for my birthday dinner. Having eaten there on New Year’s Eve, I knew this was the best place for everyone attending my party. We all had a great time together. Good friends, good food, good conversation and lots of laughter!

I really am blessed to have such a wonderful family and group of friends. I feel very loved and appreciated!

Today David and I went to lunch with my parents and GranMar at Olive Garden as a belated birthday meal. David and I then went shopping so I could spend the birthday money burning a hole in my pocket.

We ended the afternoon with a new mattress! I have never been more excited about going to bed before in my life!

Overall, this has been an excellent birthday! Another one for the memory books…. with more to come!

Everyone has their traditions, especially around the holiday season.

My personal traditions with my family have always been special to me. Part of Christmas is participating in these traditions, and helping them grow.

Traditions have changed with the years. One tradition that we used to follow at Thanksgiving was taking a walk in the woods at my GranMar and GrandDaddy’s house after digesting. We’d also walk up the road to visit family friends. That tradition faded as it became harder for my grandparents to walk that far. I miss it.

During the Lighting of the Great Tree at the Macy’s in Atlanta, my family and I would also light our indoor tree and the outdoor one my dad would put up every year. That was the mark of Christmas beginning in my childhood.

An evolved tradition happens on Christmas Eve. Used to, GranMar would fix spaghetti and we’d all eat that on Christmas Eve. Then we’d watch The Grinch on TV and open gifts from each other. Santa would bring more to open in the morning.

Now we all go with other family members up to The Varsity in Atlanta on Christmas Eve to eat there. We meet and will give gifts to those we won’t see again for a few months. It’s a fun tradition. In fact, I can’t go to The Varsity during the year without thinking of Christmas Eve.

Other traditions I hold dear for the holidays is decorating the house, my GranMar’s elf hiding game (she has five little elves that she displays somewhere silly every year. we all compete to find them), visiting Santa Claus, watching A Muppet Christmas Carol (my personal tradition I started) on Christmas Eve, driving to see people’s Christmas lights displayed, opening gifts on Christmas Eve from each other, and Santa coming on Christmas morning.

One of my favorite long-standing traditions is tomorrow: the McDonough Christmas parade. My family has gone every year in my memory, along with my godparents and their sons. We bring food (usually pizza and chicken tenders) and watch the parade. My dad will actually be participating in it this year, marching with his Marine Corp League.

Now I’m married and have new traditions to start and to participate in. Both of David’s sides of the family do the “white elephant” type gift exchanges. Except they actually bring gifts people want and fight for!

It’s these things that really bring a special meaning to Christmas for me. I look forward to these little events every year, and I bask in the warm fuzzies they give me. Now I’m a new member of a family, and David as well. My brother Matthew also brought a new member along in Susan. I can’t wait for Matthew and Susan, as well as David and I, to start our own traditions, and to carry them over to our children one day!

What are your Christmas traditions?

I’m so excited that it’s Christmas time! To me, Thanksgiving starts the holiday season. In fact, David and I put up our Christmas tree when we got home from the in-law’s house Thanksgiving night. I put the finishing touches on last night. Just the outside decor to worry about now!

This Christmas will be bittersweet. It will be my first Christmas away from my childhood home and parents. Thinking of starting new routines and traditions with David is exciting, but I hate to think of not waking up at my parent’s house Christmas morning.

Two days after Christmas day, Matthew leaves for Iraq. He will be there for a year, with a break in June or July, hopefully. My sister-in-law, Susan, left to go back to South Korea. We’re all having a hard time seeing her go. She called me from Texas crying. I wish I had known Sunday would be the last I saw her.

One of these years, my whole family will be together for Christmas!

I wrote my letter to Santa. I hope he gets my change of address notice.

It’s that time of year again! Christmas time is upon us and I’m very excited to spend my first Christmas as a wife in my new family!!

I have always either written to Santa or told him while on his lap what I wanted for Christmas. I’m pretty sure that Santa has internet access up at the North Pole, so I decided to spare him some leg pain and write on my blog what I’d like this year:

*Disclaimer*
It’s just a wish list. Doesn’t mean I expect it all!*

Dear Santa,

I’ve been pretty good this year, plus I got married and took on a whole new role in life! I have a very sweet and wonderful husband that God set up for me. I’m sure you and He are pretty tight, so you knew that.

What I’d like this year for Christmas, if you can swing it, is:

* A Coach purse. I like this one in particular at Macy’s.

* More of these comfy Pure Beech Sateen Sheet sets in Butter, Taupe and Fern. Even one set would be great!

* An iPod touch 8GB.

* One or two of these storage ottomans.

* Gift cards to Dots, Lowes and Target.

* This nice, simple end table.

* Measuring spoons, cups and new tongs for my kitchen.

* Pandora charms.

* Flameless candles of various sizes.

* This red toss pillow.

* Some nice decorations for the house.

* Two 6×9 photo frames.

* Angels and Demons on DVD

* Dexter Seasons on DVD

* Clips for keeping food items, like bread or other opened food packages, closed

* A garlic press

* Anything left on the wedding registry

That’s all I have on my wish list. It’s just a list of wants, not demands. I’d be happy spending Christmas with my husband and families and friends. The one and only thing I want most of all is my family and friends safe and happy, especially my brother Matthew. He’s about to go to Iraq for a year. He’ll leave two days after Christmas. I’m glad I’ll have him here this year.

Merry Christmas, Santa!

Love,
Jill

P.S. I’ve had a change of address. I’m sure you can find it. We have two fireplaces to choose from

It’s my first Thanksgiving as a wife and official part of David’s family, and him part of mine. That in itself is reason enough to give thanks.

The first part of the day was spent at my grandparents’ house with my parents, Aunt Donna and my grandmother’s first cousin. My brother Matthew and his wife Susan left at 6:00 this morning for Texas to visit Susan’s family.

David and I ate well and visited with my family. We had to eat and run (which is better than staying to eat again, as my GranMar says) to make it to round two at my in-law’s house. My mother-in-law’s side of the family is all present at the house right now, which is fun. There are a lot of people around my age here, so the atmosphere is light and fun.

I am pleasantly full and very glad to count my blessings as I sit with family. God has given me many things in my life. I have a husband who loves me with a selfless and unconditional love, family who also loves and supports me and my husband, wonderful friends, a house and all my wants and needs met.

I also live in a country that gives me freedoms. I may not agree with the people in charge of our government right now, but I’m thankful for the men and women brave enough to found this country and for the men and women who are brave enough now to defend it. We as Americans take a lot for granted, including even the freedom to write and read blogs like mine.

I’m very thankful for the wedding I just had. Looking at pictures from that day with not sides of the family made me once again so happy that David and I had the most perfect wedding we could have hoped for! I first entered the Hazlehurst House when I was 14 and knew then I wanted to get married there I never thought it would happen, especially as perfect and wonderful and memorable as it was. I’d be happy marrying David in a gutter, but marrying him in the lovely setting we had made the day seem complete.

When I reflect on all my life holds and will bring, I can’t help but to feel my heart fill up with love and happiness. I love my life and all the people, experiences, memories and things it has brought me!

I should also note that I’m extremely thankful that both sides of my family are sane and don’t hold Jerry Springer worthy throw downs on holidays. Or any day.

I realized that the blog I wrote yesterday didn’t post for some reason. Instead of going back and trying to recreate it, I will just make this post instead.

I tend to take a lot for granted in life. This past year has really taught me differently. I have been given a lot of blessings in just the past few months, and I definitely have plenty to be thankful for.

The greatest thing I am thankful for is my family. I’ve been blessed to grow my family by leaps and bounds this year! Marrying David has doubled the size of those I call kin.

I consider myself very lucky, blessed and thankful for everyone you see in that picture, and for those who aren’t in it. Family is one of the best things a person can be a part of, if that family is a God centered one. Thankfully, that’s what my family is.

I’m so grateful to have people who support and love me, and who I am able to give my love and support to in return. Being part of a family like mine and a family like David’s is a true blessing. All my life I knew that I’d have to find a man to marry who was as focused and involved with his family as I am with mine. It’s hard to find people these days who are interested in their families, and not searching for the nearest exit when it comes to family get-togethers.

Not only did my family grow with marrying David, but I also gained a sister-in-law and another soon-to-be sister-in-law! Times are so exciting! My brother got married just a little over a month after I did and my brother-in-law will get married in July of next year. More people to add to this family, and who are also involved with family life.

God has definitely been good to me.

I really love autumn! Though autumn in Georgia can be confusing. One day can be sunny, cool and have a crisp feel to the air; the next it can be muggy and rainy. But despite that, I love how fall looks and feels. I marvel at the beautiful colors the trees turn. I just wish they had turned in time for the wedding. Still, I get to enjoy them now. Or rather, what’s left of them now.

I think I’ve finally settled into a new routine for life. Things are still hectic feeling at times for me. It’s not easy to change a whole life routine. And I miss being in my lifetime home. Though my new home with my husband is a wonderful place to be! I’m so happy!

I’ve been having a great time with my parents, brother and soon-to-be sister-in-law, Susan. Yesterday I tooke Susan up to Atlanta to a place called Natalie’s for her to try one her dream wedding dress. She looked absolutely gorgeous in it! I’m so glad that Matthew found someone like her to marry.

Susan and I had lunch together at Salsa, since it was right down the road from Natalie’s. It was great to get some girl time with her.

Last Thursday David and I finally got the pictures with Ashley done. We were supposed to have done them in August originally. I’m pleased with the ones she did. As a Christmas gift to my parents, David, Matthew, Susan and I are paying for Ashley to do family photos of the six of us this coming Sunday. I’m really looking forward to it!

I’m also looking forward to Thursday. Matthew and Susan will be getting married in a small, family ceremony at Salem Baptist. They’ll get married in the same chapel as my parents. I’m so excited for them! In January of 2011, after Matthew is back from Iraq, they will have a traditional wedding. Susan really wants to have it at the Hazlehurst House, too. She loved the pictures from the website and from my wedding. I really hope it works out for them to do it that way.

John and Yoly set their wedding date for July 31st of next year. From what they have discussed, it should be a great wedding! I’m just glad that both John and Yoly’s as well as Matthew and Susan’s weddings are both happening locally. I love to travel, but not for two weddings!

Next week is my last week of classes for this block. I’m debating taking a semester break and trying to get the house and my finances more organized. But then, it could be bad for me. I am just now getting into a routine that involves school. Should I deviate from that routine now, or stick it out? I’m really not sure what to do.

I can’t believe that next week is Thanksgiving! I’m looking forward to spending my first holiday season with David as my husband and us both being part of each other’s families. That is one of my favorite parts of being married: family. It’s important for both of us to be involved with family. I just wish Matthew and Susan would be here for the holiday. They leave Thanksgiving morning for Texas to spend time with Susan’s family.

Things in life sure do change quickly. It’s like seasons in Georgia, sudden and never knowing when it might happen!

Today marks one month of marriage. I can honestly say that being a wife is wonderful, but that could also be because David is a wonderful husband. If every woman had a husband as loving, caring, supportive, hard working
and devoted as David is, then all marriages would be easy. Though I will admit, I’m a lucky woman to have married a Cole man. They are a rare and wonderful breed of men. Its not often you find guys like them anymore. Kind, considerate, polite, loving, generous, family and God centered gentlemen. They are great examples of who men should be.

Now I’m glad to know that I will soon have two sister-in-laws! My brother proposed to his girlfriend, Susan. They will get married this month while she is on a 30 day leave from her Army station in South Korea. I’m so happy for them! Susan is a great girl and my brother is a wonderful guy.

My brother-in-law John also proposed to Yoly last week. They plan to get married in July of 2010. It seems that wedding planning didn’t stop at my own! I can’t wait to see what kind of wedding John and Yoly have. If its anything like Yoly was talking about, then it will be fantastic!

Matthew and Susan will have a “real” wedding when Matthew gets back from Iraq. He leaves December 27th for a year. I’m sad he’s going, but proud of his service to this country.

I can’t believe its been a month since I married David! It seems years ago and also like it hasn’t even happened yet.

Creating a home with David has been a great experience. We still have a lot to do, and we’ve had some great help from Lauren and Mandy’s boyfriend, Charlie. Our guest bathroom is done minus a window treatment and a new shower curtain rod. The main living room is done. We just need new furniture to complete the makeover. I want to work on our bedroom and bathroom next. The dining room and kitchen will follow. I’m not sure what to do with the other living room or the guest bedroom and office. We’ll get it figured out though. We have a lifetime to do it.

Recently I saw where someone I know was saying on Facebook and Twitter how she wanted to be pursued by a guy, not her pursue him. She stated overall that it was how God wanted things to be. I have to disagree with her.

In a perfect world, a man would chase and woe a woman till he romantically wins her heart. Then I suppose they would live happily ever after with no hardships, a house in the burbs, have 2.5 children and drive hybrids off into the sunset.

While in many cases a man will pursue a woman, if he is the chaser type. Not every man is bold enough to approach a woman, let alone chase after her for as long as it takes to win her affections. Yes, women like to be chased overall. Everyone wants to be wanted, and everyone has a need to feel that they are valued. But sometimes things are switched up. Not every man is a chaser and not every woman is going to sit around and just hope a man finds her at home.

My story of course involves me having to pursue David. If I hadn’t decided he was worth shaking up the “rules” for, I wouldn’t be married right now.

David had never had a girlfriend before me, and he had no idea what being in a relationship involved. And even though he was shy and felt like he would “mess up”, he was worth me going after.

I had tried the whole lady in waiting for the majority of my adult life with no good results. As with any situation, you can’t expect to sit around, not put any effort into something and get a desired result.

The girl I mentioned before used Proverbs 18:22 as a verse that backs up her view that the only way a relationship can come to be is by a man pursuing a woman. I don’t think that when the writer of this verse said “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD”. What this verse really means is more complicated than just a man finding a good wife.

This verse simply put means that when a man, who is of a both mentally and spiritually mature age realizes what love really is (an agape kind of love) for a particular woman, he will find favor in the Lord in his marriage to her. Same goes for the woman. A good wife is more than a woman who knows how to cook, clean, raise children and any other wifely/womanly tasks. She is a woman who is also of mental and spiritual maturity and is able to accept the love of a man as well as return it.

That verse has such a deeper meaning than just thinking it proves a point for wanting to be a woman pursued by a man.

David and I love each other and we are both the right mental and spiritual maturity to handle both the love we have and the marriage we entered in to. I pursued him, but now he pursues me more. Its what works for us. I don’t believe God thinks how we got together is wrong if His ultimate plan for our lives was to be married to each other.

That’s just my take on the whole thing.

If you want a Biblical example of a godly woman pursuing a man, check out the book of Ruth.