Jill Victoria

Christmas has wrapped up now. The year will follow in just two days. It seems crazy how much this year has dragged and flown by at the same time! All the months of preparing and waiting for my wedding day seemed to crawl. Now these days of marriage are quickly passing me by!

My Christmas was very good this year. David and I were asked a lot how we liked spending our first Christmas married together. Honestly, the only difference in this year and last year together is we woke up in the same bed. All the other things, like family and traditions and all the driving were the same.

On Christmas Eve, we started our day out next door to our house at Sally’s for the Sams/Cole/Goza/etc get together. We had finger foods, drinks and visited with people. We left directly from there to go to my parent’s house and ride with them as well as my brother, GranMar and Aunt Donna up to The Varsity in Atlanta. That’s my side of the family’s Christmas Eve tradition. We meet other family members up there for dinner, exchange little gifts and then part ways again.

At my parent’s house afterward, the five of us exchanged gifts under the tree and watched my favorite Christmas movie: A Muppet Christmas Carol. David and I then went home and exchanged our own gifts. It was one of the few moments we had just to ourselves. I loved the gifts that David gave me, and I know he loved the ones I gave him. I think his favorite gift from me by far was his fedora hat. He looks sharp in it, too! My favorite gift came a couple of days later: a Coach purse!

Christmas morning my wonderful husband made sure that Santa Claus took the bait of milk and cookies I left out and found me at my new address. It was very sweet

We then made our way to breakfast at my in-law’s house. John, Yoly, GrandMom and Laurie were also there, so we exchanged gifts with everyone. Afterward, David and I drove to McDonough to have lunch with my parents, brother, grandparents, Aunt Donna and Corinne. Other family members stopped by to wish us Merry Christmas before they left for their next destination.

For dinner, we were back at the in-law’s for the Cole Christmas party. That was fun, as always.

The day after Christmas was the Varner family gathering. We first met at GrandMom’s house to dedicate a tree in Pop’s memory. It was a very touching time.

This Christmas was also a bittersweet time for me and my family. While it was wonderful spending my first Christmas as a married woman with David and my family including him in our traditions, we were sad to think my brother would leave in a few short days to serve in Iraq for a year.

Matthew was supposed to leave on December 27th, but he left today instead. I wish more than anything that I could have been with him and my parents as he was preparing to leave, but I couldn’t be. Please keep him and our other soldiers in your prayers as they defend our country and our freedoms.

Other than Christmas and my brother leaving, things have been going well. The house is an on going project, but it’s a lot of fun watching even the littlest things make it feel more and more like a cozy home for two. The new furniture my in-laws bought us for Christmas certainly has helped the living room!

David and I have also been able to spend more time with Krista and Spencer. We all have such clashing schedules it’s hard to find time to get together. It’s especially hard when we live in two different towns. I just wish I could spend as much time with other friends.

I am almost sad to see 2009 go. It has changed my life so drastically and brought me so many good things and good people. I am so blessed, and can’t help but look forward to what 2010 will be!

During the Christmas holidays, you see and hear the phrase “Keep Christ in Christmas” everywhere. It’s no surprise, seeing the way that Christmas is viewed by some.

There are the people who say that Christmas is too commercialized and that Santa has kidnapped the baby Jesus and taken His place at the center of the holiday. I just don’t see this as so.

If Christ is missing from Christmas, it’s because Christians are failing to recognize their own religious holiday for what it is. Christmas is a CHRISTIAN holiday, so therefore people of other faiths or non-believers won’t celebrate the way a Christian will.

Christians get so offended when someone says “Happy Holidays” as opposed to “Merry Christmas” to them. I don’t. Why should I? As a Christian, it’s up to me to tell the story of Jesus’ birth, not a store’s, a non-believer or any other outlet’s. Boycotting stores because of “Happy Holidays” is just ridiculous.

We need to remember as Christians that this is our holiday. If you don’t like the commercialism of it all, then don’t buy into it… literally. If you don’t want your children to see Santa as a central Christmas figure, then don’t raise them to believe in him. Keep Christmas as you see fit.

The Obama’s wanted to celebrate a “non-religious Christmas” in the White House this year as a way of making a Christian holiday “more inclusive”. If they, as a proclaimed Christian family, want to neutralize Christmas in their home, then that’s their prerogative. But expecting a religious holiday to bow to the politically correct needs of others is just insulting. Saying you want a “non-religious Christmas” is like saying you want a non-political campaign run. Christmas is a religious holiday for Christians, regardless of what anyone wants it to be.

Then there are the global warming zealots like Mary Armstrong of Cazenovia, NY. In a letter to the editor of Syracuse.com, Armstrong states her opinion that we should do away with Christmas as a way to combat global warming. If Ms. Armstrong believes so strongly that a lack of this holiday will save our planet, then she can practice this belief on her own.

There are obviously many people out there who will make Christmas into anything and everything but what it is: a time to celebrate the birth of a Savior; a time to celebrate the bonds of family through blood; friendship and faith, and a time to wish peace on earth and good will toward our fellow man.

Christmas is what it is. Traditions change, views on the holiday change and how we celebrate evolves with time. Keeping Christ in Christmas is easy, because despite what a secular world might say or do, Christ will always remain. The only way Christ will leave Christmas is if His followers abandon Him.

It’s my first Thanksgiving as a wife and official part of David’s family, and him part of mine. That in itself is reason enough to give thanks.

The first part of the day was spent at my grandparents’ house with my parents, Aunt Donna and my grandmother’s first cousin. My brother Matthew and his wife Susan left at 6:00 this morning for Texas to visit Susan’s family.

David and I ate well and visited with my family. We had to eat and run (which is better than staying to eat again, as my GranMar says) to make it to round two at my in-law’s house. My mother-in-law’s side of the family is all present at the house right now, which is fun. There are a lot of people around my age here, so the atmosphere is light and fun.

I am pleasantly full and very glad to count my blessings as I sit with family. God has given me many things in my life. I have a husband who loves me with a selfless and unconditional love, family who also loves and supports me and my husband, wonderful friends, a house and all my wants and needs met.

I also live in a country that gives me freedoms. I may not agree with the people in charge of our government right now, but I’m thankful for the men and women brave enough to found this country and for the men and women who are brave enough now to defend it. We as Americans take a lot for granted, including even the freedom to write and read blogs like mine.

I’m very thankful for the wedding I just had. Looking at pictures from that day with not sides of the family made me once again so happy that David and I had the most perfect wedding we could have hoped for! I first entered the Hazlehurst House when I was 14 and knew then I wanted to get married there I never thought it would happen, especially as perfect and wonderful and memorable as it was. I’d be happy marrying David in a gutter, but marrying him in the lovely setting we had made the day seem complete.

When I reflect on all my life holds and will bring, I can’t help but to feel my heart fill up with love and happiness. I love my life and all the people, experiences, memories and things it has brought me!

I should also note that I’m extremely thankful that both sides of my family are sane and don’t hold Jerry Springer worthy throw downs on holidays. Or any day.

I realized that the blog I wrote yesterday didn’t post for some reason. Instead of going back and trying to recreate it, I will just make this post instead.

I tend to take a lot for granted in life. This past year has really taught me differently. I have been given a lot of blessings in just the past few months, and I definitely have plenty to be thankful for.

The greatest thing I am thankful for is my family. I’ve been blessed to grow my family by leaps and bounds this year! Marrying David has doubled the size of those I call kin.

I consider myself very lucky, blessed and thankful for everyone you see in that picture, and for those who aren’t in it. Family is one of the best things a person can be a part of, if that family is a God centered one. Thankfully, that’s what my family is.

I’m so grateful to have people who support and love me, and who I am able to give my love and support to in return. Being part of a family like mine and a family like David’s is a true blessing. All my life I knew that I’d have to find a man to marry who was as focused and involved with his family as I am with mine. It’s hard to find people these days who are interested in their families, and not searching for the nearest exit when it comes to family get-togethers.

Not only did my family grow with marrying David, but I also gained a sister-in-law and another soon-to-be sister-in-law! Times are so exciting! My brother got married just a little over a month after I did and my brother-in-law will get married in July of next year. More people to add to this family, and who are also involved with family life.

God has definitely been good to me.

My family has gained another member.

Yesterday, my baby brother Matthew married a wonderful girl named Susan. It was a small, close family and friends ceremony at Salem Baptist Church in McDonough. Matthew and Susan were married in the same (original building) chapel as our parents. I know that made it even more special. My dad and GrandDaddy both made toasts.

It’s hard to believe my brother is married and I now have a sister-in-law! I’m so happy for both Matthew and Susan!

In January of 2011, Matt and Susan will have a traditional ceremony to which everyone they want to invite will be asked to come to. Susan wants to have their re-commitment ceremony at the Hazelhurst House, too. I think it would be great if they did! I know I loved every second of my wedding day there.

This time of the year just became even more special. Two wedding in just six weeks and two new and fantastically wonderful people were added to the family.

I can’t help but marvel at how blessed and wonderful my life and family are. I have never lacked anything I needed and I have certainly obtained my fair share of the things I’ve wanted. Loving family, loving husband, new loving in-laws and family, new sister-in-law, great friends, a house, working cars, an education, health, happiness and adventures! I was able to have the wedding of my dreams and marry my best friend, just as I had hoped for my whole life. I’m a newly wed who was fortunate and blessed enough to end up in a house with room to spare.

I have gone and done and experienced more than I ever thought I would in my lifetime. If I have done what I’ve done now, it’s hard to think of what there is to come!

Since it’s so close to Thanksgiving, it’s nice to think of all the wonderful things I’ve been blessed with that I am so truly thankful for.

Recently I saw where someone I know was saying on Facebook and Twitter how she wanted to be pursued by a guy, not her pursue him. She stated overall that it was how God wanted things to be. I have to disagree with her.

In a perfect world, a man would chase and woe a woman till he romantically wins her heart. Then I suppose they would live happily ever after with no hardships, a house in the burbs, have 2.5 children and drive hybrids off into the sunset.

While in many cases a man will pursue a woman, if he is the chaser type. Not every man is bold enough to approach a woman, let alone chase after her for as long as it takes to win her affections. Yes, women like to be chased overall. Everyone wants to be wanted, and everyone has a need to feel that they are valued. But sometimes things are switched up. Not every man is a chaser and not every woman is going to sit around and just hope a man finds her at home.

My story of course involves me having to pursue David. If I hadn’t decided he was worth shaking up the “rules” for, I wouldn’t be married right now.

David had never had a girlfriend before me, and he had no idea what being in a relationship involved. And even though he was shy and felt like he would “mess up”, he was worth me going after.

I had tried the whole lady in waiting for the majority of my adult life with no good results. As with any situation, you can’t expect to sit around, not put any effort into something and get a desired result.

The girl I mentioned before used Proverbs 18:22 as a verse that backs up her view that the only way a relationship can come to be is by a man pursuing a woman. I don’t think that when the writer of this verse said “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD”. What this verse really means is more complicated than just a man finding a good wife.

This verse simply put means that when a man, who is of a both mentally and spiritually mature age realizes what love really is (an agape kind of love) for a particular woman, he will find favor in the Lord in his marriage to her. Same goes for the woman. A good wife is more than a woman who knows how to cook, clean, raise children and any other wifely/womanly tasks. She is a woman who is also of mental and spiritual maturity and is able to accept the love of a man as well as return it.

That verse has such a deeper meaning than just thinking it proves a point for wanting to be a woman pursued by a man.

David and I love each other and we are both the right mental and spiritual maturity to handle both the love we have and the marriage we entered in to. I pursued him, but now he pursues me more. Its what works for us. I don’t believe God thinks how we got together is wrong if His ultimate plan for our lives was to be married to each other.

That’s just my take on the whole thing.

If you want a Biblical example of a godly woman pursuing a man, check out the book of Ruth.

Well, David and I are back from our honeymoon and settling into our “normal” life now. I put normal in quotation marks because I’m not sure what normal is now. My life will never be the same in most ways. I’m in the midst of creating new version of normal with passing day.

The honeymoon was great. We left on our Carnival Cruise on Monday afternoon. Our two ports of call were Key West and Nassua in the Bahamas. I really enjoyed being in Key West more than the Bahamas. I’d really like to drive down and stay a while in the Keys.

In the Bahamas, we took a ride in a taxi cab of DEATH! Stop signs and traffic lights are just a suggestion down there. I was never so happy to be out of a vehicle! The sights were cool and the water was beautiful. Other than that, I don’t see why the Bahamas are such a big draw for people.

I enjoyed being on the cruise ship. David and I spent lazy times together, just enjoying each other and the ability to do nothing at all. We both kept journals the whole trip, some of which I may end up transcribing onto here.

Saturday we left the ship and drove back to the condo in Fernandina. We hung out on the beach and in downtown all day. I did some shopping while David checked out the classic car show going on for the fall festival.

Sunday we packed up and headed for home. We stopped in Savannah to have lunch at The Pirate House. David had never been before, and I love the food, history and the ghosts! After lunch, we stopped at the Savannah Candy Kitchen to get our parents (and ourselves!) some fudge and other sweet treats.

My mom and dad met us at our house and brought my car as well as our wedding gifts. After we got things settled at the house, the four of us went to David’s parents’ house for dinner. We visited with them, GrandMom, John and Yoly. It was nice to get home.

Last night David and I started unpacking my boxes and wedding gifts. We started putting things in their proper places. So far we’ve tackled the guest bathroom and the kitchen. Its starting to look more like our home.

I started making plans for our annual Halloween party. Anyone can come, just let me or David know!

My mom called me yesterday and told me that Sunday night she thought I looked the most beautiful she had seen me look in a long time. She said I looked relaxed, happy and had a glow about me. I guess married life suits me.

This weather suits me, too! I love the autumn! I get to wear lovely fall colors and fashions, like boots, scarves and coats. I got out my scarves last night and wore one today.

Life is the same in some ways. I still have school to do, and I’m still watching the kids in the afternoon. I’m also still making plans with friends and playing World of Warcraft. All that is a comfort to me. Makes this transition a bit easier.

Stuff like this weekend’s outting with Krista and Spencer to Oakland Cemetery for the ghost tour, and our Halloween party are just a couple of fun things coming up. Krista and I talked about a couples weekend retreat to Charleston in the next couple of months, too. That should be fun!

I’m pretty sure I’ve covered everything. I’m going to enjoy the autumn weather now. Later!

I wanted to write about our wedding day while its still fresh in my mind.

The day was PERFECT! That 60 – 80% chance of rain that haunted us for almost two weeks never even happened! How awesome is God for doing that?! I want to thank everyone who prayed for the gorgeous weather we had for the whole day.

David and I couldn’t have been happier! Everything was beyond what we could have ever hoped for and more than we deserve. All that we planned went exactly as we wanted. I successfully avoided David seeing me (Though I accidentally saw him out of the bridal suite window. Oops!) and we both got the moment we hoped for as I walked down the aisle. David told me that when he saw me that it was like his heart sped up and stopped at the same time. I knew exactly how he felt.

It was so great to see all the people we did. I scanned the faces as my dad walked me down the aisle (”Moon River by 101 Strings Orchestra, composed by Johnny Mercer) and couldn’t help but have my heart swell with so much love that I literally felt my skin tingle.

I wish I knew how to describe what the moment felt like when I reached David. Everything in my life, the good, the bad, the wise choices and the not so wise choices all fell into place. My dad gave me away on behalf of himself and my mom, and they left me in very safe and loving hands.

Rick Statham, the pastor, did a wonderful job. He didn’t over embellish love by reading Song of Solomon or 1 Corinthians 13, but talked of how David and I are to yield to each other and work as a partnership. If we both live for each other and for God, then we are living in a Christian marriage.

David was so sweet. I knew he was nervous because he was shaking as we held hands and said our vows. During the last prayer, before we kissed our first husband and wife kiss, David started to make what I call his “happy noises”. He basically sighs very content and happy sighs. I knew he was totally overjoyed that we were finally married.

My Aunt Donna served as our MC instead of the DJ. She did a great job. She announced us as we came in and went into our first dance (”At Last” by Etta James). My dad and I had our father/daughter dance (”True Love Waits” by Buddy Holly, which has been stuck in my head all day) and David and Ms. Deb danced their mother/son (”Life Story” by Grant Wilson).

The food was great. Marmalade chicken, roasted potatoes, and green beans. Our wedding cake was strawberry short cake and was delicious!

There was lots of dancing. I danced with Matthew, Emily, Lauren and kinda with Jonathan.

I wish we had more time at the reception. It was a great send off though. David and I walked out in a cascade of tiny bubbles and were driven off in a Model A classic car! I had always imagined leaving in a classic car, but never thought it would happen.

All my girls looked so beautiful. They were a great help and I was so honored they were able to be a part of the day. The groomsmen were handsome as well, especially my brother in his Army dress uniform. I thought my mom looked beautiful in her red dress, and Ms. Deb was lovely in hers as well.

David and I made it safely to the beach condo. I can’t believe I’m laying next to my husband! Its such a sweet yet still foreign word, but I love saying it!

I can’t wait to see pictures from today. Its hard to realize that today is still my wedding day. It was like two days wrapped in one. Though most brides have told me that they didn’t have time to enjoy anything, David and I can both safely say that we enjoyed and savored every second. We had the best day of our lives!

I’m sending out lots of love to our families and our friends. You all made this day very special and we were so blessed to have you as part of our wedding day.

And thus ends my wedding day and my first blog as Mrs. Jill Cole! <3

Why yes, I am blogging on my wedding day! Emily, Krista and Lauren can rip me a new one later, but I want to capture the moment.

So far, so good for everything, including the weather! Please keep praying that the rain holds off till after 12:00.

My mom, Rachel, Emily, Lucie and I all just finished getting hair and makeup done. Now we’re heading to pick up shoes, then on to the Hazlehurst House to finish getting ready!

I’m so excited! I’m getting married! I love David so much and I can’t wait to be his wife! An hour and a half from now, I will be Mrs. Jill Cole.

Holy crap!!!

Sunday was my final bridal shower. It was the biggest by far. I believe I was told we had about 40 or so people who came, which amazed me! This shower was given to me by some of the ladies on David’s side of the family, and seeing as some of the people who came don’t even know me, it was a nice surprise.

I overcame my fear of being the center of attention by making Emily sit next to me as I opened gifts. At least then I felt like everyone had two freak shows to stare at.

After the shower Sunday, a few of David’s relatives came to the house we’ll be living in to go through some of his grandmother’s things. It really helped to have them there to weed out the things that meant something to them and have the items go to a good home. We just wouldn’t have room for our things and Nanny’s if everything stayed.

The house is beginning to almost have a new life to it. Things have been cleaned, moved, and replaced as time has gone on.

How is my stress level? A bit better, actually. I’ve been trying very hard to realize that I don’t have to do everything on my own and to take a breath every now and then. I also talked out some things that have been bothering me, and that helped too.

Another thing I’ve been doing is counting my blessings. All through my life I have come out on the very fortunate end of things, and getting married has been no exception.

I honestly never thought I’d get to have our wedding at the Hazlehurst House. When we all went for the tour there, I went with the thought that it would be the first of many tours we went on since the price was way out of any budget I dreamed. I’m blessed to have two sets of parents who want to do something this nice for their children.

The house is another huge blessing. I never imagined in all my years of thinking of my married life that my husband and I would end up in a house as special as the one we have. I actually didn’t see me living in a house at all right after getting married. I figured that we’d start in a cardboard box and work our way up to a McMansion.

Remembering these blessings from God is a way to keep myself from feeling too bogged down in stress. It really is uplifting to realize how much David and I are fortunate to have. We have loving families, a roof over our heads, jobs, opportunities to improve ourselves and each other.

When I think of that, I can’t help but smile.