Jill Victoria

Two years ago in Valentine’s Day of 2008, I was dumped by my then boyfriend. Even though it was not the most pleasant thing in the world to endure on a day I wasn’t already fond of, that day turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened to me.

I knew it was over with Thomas way before Valentine’s Day. In all honesty, I was pretty relieved when he broke up with me. Thomas was a nice guy, but definitely not the guy for me.

By that day, I had already met and gone on a blind date with David. I suppose it could be considered cheating, but the date I went on with David was chaperoned by Krista and Spencer, and nothing even close to romantic happened other than David opening the car door for me.

Its hard to believe that a break up on Valentine’s Day two years ago lead me to a marriage. But, I suppose that every break up eventually leads to a marriage. Or at least to a long-term relationship.

That breakup was just one of the stepping stones on the way to my husband and the love of my life. Not every ending destroys a happily ever after.

Bullying is not an uncommon thing to happen. I’m sure that everyone reading this was bullied at some point in their lives. We can relate to it, and we still deal with it even in adulthood. I found a whole group of bullies on a forum recently. There really is no escape from these people. But there is an escape from the affects bullies have on our lives.

At school, I was bullied mercilessly for years.

In fourth grade it was especially worse. I ended up in a class with a group of girls who must have made it their life’s ambition to kill me. Believe me, the thought crossed my mind. How many times did I have to hear that I was fat, ugly, a dog, stupid, and that no one wanted me there?

I went to the school councilor for help, but she never seemed to want to do anything for me. I had terribly low self-esteem and it affected who I was. My teacher eventually intervened and made the girls apologize, but it didn’t stop them from their torment of me.

When I entered middle school, things didn’t improve. My sixth grade year had me facing one of the worst bullies I’d ever have to deal with. That was the first time I ever heard the word “bitch”, let alone was called one. Her exact nickname for me was “Hepatitus C Bitch”. Why? Heck if I know! She probably didn’t even know. I did have a breakdown at lunch one day when she just sat there and called me it over and over again. I reached across the table and punched her in the face. Yep. I sure did. She tattled on me, and after I told my teacher everything that she had done to me since the beginning of the school year, I was not punished.

Seventh grade I dealt with rumors. I developed large breasts early on, and of course that meant I was talked about. I was accused of stuffing my bra, and even having sex or being pregnant as a result. The worst rumor I remember was that my dad was molesting me, and THAT was how I got big boobs.

One of the worst things about my bullying is losing two friends during it. My best friends became friends with some of the very girls who tormented me, meaning that at their birthday, I had to face them there. It didn’t take long till I was the outcast, and they were the popular girls.

The kids who tormented me probably to this day don’t know what I went through. In fact, when they left off with the name calling and abuse, I picked up and kept it going. Even now I have to stop myself from calling myself the things I was called in elementary school.

Am I ugly? A dog? Trash? Stupid? A freak? Unworthy of love? Unworthy of life? Am I not good enough? No, I am not any of those things, but the bullies beat it into me. That’s what I heard nearly every day from primary to middle school.

For a long time, I let people bully me. Even after high school I was bullied in the workplace or even at church. I finally started to value myself when I actually decided to not let others affect how I felt about myself.

Do the old wounds still fester? Oh yeah, and they run deep. But then, I have learned to value myself for who and what I really am. I am truly blessed in life. Facebook has helped me keep up with some of the people who made my childhood miserable, and I believe I’ve come out better than the majority of them. I have a husband who loves me, a wonderful family and the best friends anyone could ask for.

I let the bullies win for a very long time. Then I realized who I am and began to see that the bullies in life will never stop. I had to rise above it, tell myself the truth and win this war I fought with my attackers for so long.

They won the battles, but I win the war.

I am wonderfully me.

I win.

Everyone has their traditions, especially around the holiday season.

My personal traditions with my family have always been special to me. Part of Christmas is participating in these traditions, and helping them grow.

Traditions have changed with the years. One tradition that we used to follow at Thanksgiving was taking a walk in the woods at my GranMar and GrandDaddy’s house after digesting. We’d also walk up the road to visit family friends. That tradition faded as it became harder for my grandparents to walk that far. I miss it.

During the Lighting of the Great Tree at the Macy’s in Atlanta, my family and I would also light our indoor tree and the outdoor one my dad would put up every year. That was the mark of Christmas beginning in my childhood.

An evolved tradition happens on Christmas Eve. Used to, GranMar would fix spaghetti and we’d all eat that on Christmas Eve. Then we’d watch The Grinch on TV and open gifts from each other. Santa would bring more to open in the morning.

Now we all go with other family members up to The Varsity in Atlanta on Christmas Eve to eat there. We meet and will give gifts to those we won’t see again for a few months. It’s a fun tradition. In fact, I can’t go to The Varsity during the year without thinking of Christmas Eve.

Other traditions I hold dear for the holidays is decorating the house, my GranMar’s elf hiding game (she has five little elves that she displays somewhere silly every year. we all compete to find them), visiting Santa Claus, watching A Muppet Christmas Carol (my personal tradition I started) on Christmas Eve, driving to see people’s Christmas lights displayed, opening gifts on Christmas Eve from each other, and Santa coming on Christmas morning.

One of my favorite long-standing traditions is tomorrow: the McDonough Christmas parade. My family has gone every year in my memory, along with my godparents and their sons. We bring food (usually pizza and chicken tenders) and watch the parade. My dad will actually be participating in it this year, marching with his Marine Corp League.

Now I’m married and have new traditions to start and to participate in. Both of David’s sides of the family do the “white elephant” type gift exchanges. Except they actually bring gifts people want and fight for!

It’s these things that really bring a special meaning to Christmas for me. I look forward to these little events every year, and I bask in the warm fuzzies they give me. Now I’m a new member of a family, and David as well. My brother Matthew also brought a new member along in Susan. I can’t wait for Matthew and Susan, as well as David and I, to start our own traditions, and to carry them over to our children one day!

What are your Christmas traditions?

So, where has life brought me as of this moment?

This week has been an up and down. Well, I should say Monday was a down and the rest of the week has been making up for Monday’s short comings.

Tuesday night Emily came over to my house after we both left work. We set out to clean and pack up the majority of my room that night, and we succeeded. It was a fun time. We hadn’t spent any one on one time together in months, and this was a walk down memory lane. In the various drawers and forgotten corners of my room, we found pictures and momentous that reminded us of the “old days”. Could those days really have been just a couple of years ago? So much has changed.

I finally got all my invitations addressed, stuffed, stamped and ready to be sent out! David’s mom got their side of the family’s invitations ready and sent out last week. I’ve already been receiving RSVPs from people.

School is going well. I’ve yet to make anything but a 100 on any assignment, and we’re nearly halfway through my first block of classes. I really do think that now was the right time to go back to school, even if it does add a bit more pressure to my daily life.

As of this writing, there are 50 days left till I’m married. That’s a fact that both gives me butterflies and makes me want to go into panic mode all at once! Fifty days?! That’s not enough time to finish anything! I’ve still got to do alterations for the dress, order favors, book our hotel room for the honeymoon night and buy all the little things that we need. Plus I still need to loose a gazillion pounds!

Wedding + School + Work + Looking for more work + Packing + Cleaning + Trying to please everyone in sight = Slightly overwhelmed Jill.

Even through all the busyness that I experience these days, I still love it! I’ve grown accustomed to waiting for this big, spectacularly important day that’s coming closer and closer. It’s like I’m paused, waiting for the suspense to reach a high point so it can finally consume me and I can get the suspense over with. I could so get a high off that.

The suspense is terrible. I hope it will last!

It gives me the tingles and butterflies.

Fifty days and counting down…

Current Mood: Playful

I used to love night at the campground. When I was a teen, that’s when I’d find others around my age and we would wander the grounds. We would sit in the darkened tabernacle or take a stroll to the spring. I got my second kiss at the campground in the folds of an old oak tree.

I’m watching kids the age I’m describing me as doing just as I did so long ago. Long ago? Was it really just a dozen or so years ago that I was out there? Now I sit on the porch, rocking in the chairs with the adults.

I’m honestly trying to bridge the gap in my mind between now and then. This is just one more of those times when I really start to feel like I’m older. As if the whole work, bills, college and getting married wasn’t enough to make me feel like my age.

It was Roll Call tonight at service. I got to stand up and represent 25 years of both my life and my attendance at Shingleroof Campmeeting. I just don’t feel 25 at times. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have the responsibilities of a 25 year old. But, those are the realities. I’ve put aside childish things.

And honestly, I don’t miss them all that much.

As I have mentioned before in this blog, Shingleroof Campmeeting starts this coming Friday, July 17th. It is an annual tradition in my family to take seven days out of our lives (along with a couple hundred other people) and make our pilgrimage to Shingleroof Campground in McDonough, Ga. For some, it’s a long trip. For people like me and lot of my local relatives in and around McDonough, it’s nothing but a short drive down the road. As of right now, I still live just five short miles away from a place that makes me feel a million miles removed from the everyday life.

Shingleroof Campground was founded in 1831 on land deeded to the Methodist Church in McDonough, GA from the Creek tribe. At that time, McDonough was only ten years old and Shingleroof was located in a wilderness no more than 30 miles from Indian Territory.

The roots of Campmeeting lay deep in the history of the Judeo-Christian religion. Campmeetings around the country are patterned closely on the ancient Jewish Holy Week of Sukot; also known as the Feast of Tabernacles and the Feast of Booths. Sukot was established by God, speaking to Moses on Mount Sinai, when He instructed the Jewish people in Leviticus 23:41-42, “Celebrate this as a festival to the LORD for seven days each year. This is to be a lasting ordinance for the generations to come; celebrate it in the seventh month. Live in booths for seven days”

On April 12th, 1861, just nine days after Fort Sumter was fired upon (beginning the Civil War, or as my grandmother calls it: The War of Northern Aggression), volunteers started to gather in Henry County and Shingleroof Campground was their rallying point. It also became their training ground.

Now you have a brief, highlighted history of Shingleroof.

My cousin, Nancy Paul Miller, (who lives across the dirt road from me) wrote a paper on Shingleroof Campmeeting while she was a student back in 1994 at the College of St. Francis. She wrote a piece in that paper I would like to share with you here to sum up Campmeeting for you:

Vacation is a precious time. People ask what I am going to do on my vacation. I tell them I am going to Shingleroof Campground in McDonough, GA. There is no air conditioning, no TV’s, no VCR’s nor computers. Some children bring their small electronic games, but usually do not play with them unless it is raining and they don’t want to go out and play in the rain and puddles with the rest. Campmeeting is a kind of time out week, different from all the other weeks and holidays because my mind and living are slowed down and far away from so many of the noisy and busy distractions and demands of the late 20th century life. The porch is a special place at each tent. We watch the children and adults play. We see the water balloon battles, the making of mud pies, volleyball, softball games, and those who dare may swing on a rope swing with a plank for a seat. Children from all over the campground stand in line to swing up into the tree leaves. On the porch, we shell peas and string beans. Visitors walk from porch to porch joining in on the shelling and story telling. There may be ten to twenty or more living in one tent with one bathroom and shower. The bedrooms have two double beds so there may be six in a room. There is a hotel that was built this year without having to borrow money, but by donations and memorials. The hotel is used for reunions during the year and groups come during campmeeting to eat before or after services. It only has two rooms now for guests to spend the night. They may add more if needed. So what brings us to campmeeting? I feel it’s the ’spirit of competing’ and kinship. The religious services, the openness of the services, being out of doors, gives us the feeling of being in God’s presence. Being in a place special to our ancestors. Kinship is very important. We go our separate ways during the year, rarely seeing some, but for that one week we become close again and feel it helps us stay close though we are far apart. We learn of our heritage from stories passed down from the older generations. Those we never met we feel we know.

You did read right. Every year I spend a week of my life in a tent (read: cabin) that is made of rough cut boards, has a tin roof, the walls don’t join the ceiling (as there is none; just a view of the tin separating your and the rain). The tent boasts four bedrooms, three of which have two full beds that are wall to wall which can sleep up to six people comfortably… more if you’re throwing children in.

Having wall to wall beds makes steam rolling (the act of rolling over people laying in the bed, usually to wake them up) easier.

We have one toilet and one shower. This year we will have about 24 people staying at the tent daily and even more people coming for meals and to sit, rock and visit on the front porch and go to the two services offered daily.

Campmeeting will officially begin at 7:30 Friday night when the first church service in the tabernacle begins. Every day after that till the following Thursday there will be two church services held in the tabernacle. The building is an open walled church and is packed for every service offered. People bring their lawn chairs to sit outside the structure and listen to the pastor preach.

This will be my 26th annual Campmeeting. I prefer to count my time in my mom’s womb as a year at the campground. I’m sure that’s when it settled into my blood to begin with.

A lot of the tents at Shingleroof are more “primitive” than my family’s. They have sawdust floors and resemble more of a stable setting on the inside than a place to live. Some of the newer tents have air conditioning, but the majority of the buildings are still only cooled by ceiling fans. They’re life savers in the July Georgia heat.

My family has been tenting at Shingleroof for generations. The tent we occupy now was built for my great-grandmother, Dovie Bryans Elliott, by my grandmother and great-aunts. It was an upgrade from then tent my family used to have. A fire that destroyed on side of the Campground took their tent with it. My great-uncle is suspected of starting the fire with one of his cigars. Accidentally, of course.

Shingleroof Campground and the campmeeting that takes place there is dear to my heart. I love seeing my cousins (because nearly everyone who attends is related to me) for that time and feeling like I’m completely removed from the “real world”. Even cell phones have a hard time functioning at the campground. It’s almost as if you’re in a time warp and Shingleroof is sucking you in.

Honestly, Campmeeting is something you either love or hate. I find it hard to believe that anyone can hate the place. Yes, it’s hot and humid and you sweat a lot and are never properly clean. And yes, you also go to church twice a day and sweat there too. But you also have you Fs: Family, Friends, Fellowship, Food, Fun and Faithfulness. To me, you can’t beat that. All the discomforts bring you out of your own comfort zone and into a place that really does revive you. After all, that’s what you’re there to do; be revived.

Come if you like. Shingleroof is located at the intersection of Campground Road and Highway 155 in McDonough, GA. it will start at 7:30 Friday, July 17th and run till Thursday, July 23rd.

Come dip your toes in the spring, experience that “ol’ time religion”, swing on the rope swing, rock on the front porch, hear the blue hairs tell their stories, and get some sawdust under your toenails. Once it hits the blood stream, you’re hooked.

Current Mood: Playful

I have actually never written down my story of my time in France. I decided to chronicle it here.

This time six years ago, I was living in France while I did mission work with my aunt, Ellen; uncle, Ross; and two cousins, Joel and Nate.

I ended up in France totally by God’s calling. I always wanted to go and visit, but I didn’t plan for it to be a year after I graduated high school. I especially didn’t know it would end up changing my life forever.

My Aunt Ellen called from France one evening to chat with my mom; I happened to answer the phone. We exchanged our hellos and then I just blurted out, “Would you mind if I came and lived with you for a while?”.

Yep. That was it. I was actually shocked to hear the words come out myself. Live there? Thousands of miles away from my home? Away from everything I have ever known?

As we made plans for my trip across the pond, God pulled on my heart and told me this was more than just a temporary move; it was an opportunity to be apart of a ministry in his name to reach the Catholics who were not living the life God wanted for them. (For those that don’t know, the Catholic church in Europe is very much into idol worship and recognizes Mary as more of an authority that Christ. My uncle, Ross Hindman, wrote a book on the subject called, The Great Divide).

A month before I was scheduled to leave, we found out that Ross had throat cancer and would need surgery while I was there. It became so clear right then and there why I was called to France.

People want socialized medicine, but don’t realize the toll it puts on a family. My uncle had to be admitted to a hospital two hours away from home and had to bring his own sheets, toilet paper, towels, and sit in a hospital with no AC during the hottest summer in France’s kept history. Sounds wonderful, huh?

I left for France after I got back from a weekend trip to Texas for One Day (which is actually three days), a college/singles/young professionals ministry headed by Louie Giglio. That trip helped get me in the mindset that God needed me in for this total change in my life.

I’ll never forget the feeling I had when the plane touched down in Paris. I felt relieved that I had arrived, scared to death of trying to navigate my way through a French airport and wondering if this was such a good idea after all. I had never been that far away from home on my own. It was a jolt into adulthood. I was on my own.

With the help of what little French I had learned in high school, I found my way to my next gate and boarded the hopper flight from Paris to Lyon, where my aunt and cousins would meet me. It would be an hour long flight followed by another two hours in a car to get from Lyon to the small town where the seminary school my aunt and uncle ran was located. It would also be an uncomfortable flight. A little French woman kept trying to talk to me, despite me telling her in French I didn’t speak the language very well and didn’t understand her.

I was so excited to see Ellen, Joel and Nate waiting for me at the bottom of the escalator. We grabbed my two bags and headed out to their van. The airport was so tiny compared to Hartsfield-Jackson in Atlanta.

Traveling through the winding roads that snaked through the Massif Central mountains and into the Haute-Loir department (like states/counties in the US) and on to the tiny village of Le Chambon de Vorey, a commune of Vorey.

You could seriously put the whole village of Le Chambon de Vorey into a Super Wal-Mart with room to spare. The largest building by far was the one in which my family lived and ran the school, Bethany Ministries, Centre de Formation. The building is what is known as a cheatue forte, a defense castle on the outskirts of a larger town. The oldest part of this cheatue dates back to the 1500s. It has been everything from the fort to a hotel and restaurant and now a seminary school.

Being the history enthusiast I am, it was great getting to live in a building that was older than my own country! Every nook and cranny held something different, something new. You would find a room in places you never expected… like the door we found to another room that was at the top of the hallway wall.

My days were spent doing chores, washing dishes in “the dungeon” (what used to be the original entrance to the cheatue is now the wash room complete with archery window) and helping prepare meals for the students who were staying at the school. I only ever got to meet and eat with them once and they were fascinated with my southern accent. Anyone who believes that all the French are rude and American hating are just ignorant. That would be like saying that all Americans are rich and fat. Stereotypes are just that… stereotypes.

There were a couple of evenings that my Aunt Ellen and I visited fellow missionaries living in the nearby city of Le Puy. It was interesting seeing how people there lived. Air conditioning was a rare thing to find. Even grocery stores weren’t cooled. I remember being happy to visit their version of Wal-Mart, called Giant. It had A/C and everything else I wanted to find to be comfortable while living in France.

We also went on tours of the city, visiting the historic district and the Cathedral there. The city’s idol, The Black Virgin, is hosted in their cathedral. On a certain day during the summer, they parade the doll through the streets and people pray to it.

On the top of a very high peak in the city is the Saint Michel d’Aiguilhe Chapel. Pilgrims still come to this spot and will climb to the top of the stairs carved into the mountain on their knees.

The city also hosted two large statues of Mary and Joseph, both holding the baby Jesus. They faced each other from either side of the city and were made from the melted canons of Napoleon’s army.

The story goes that the architect who designed the statues placed Jesus in the wrong arm of Mary. He was so distraught over this, he climbed to the top of her and jumped.

After the seminar was over, my uncle went in the hospital for his surgery. Like the idea of socialized medicine? Yeah. Try staying for a while in a country that has it. I’ve seen public restrooms cleaner than the hospital in St. Etienne.

While my aunt went back and forth for two hours nearly every day to be with my uncle, I stayed and helped take care of the grounds with my cousins, Joel and Nate. We weeded the yard, cleaned the kitchen, cleared stones out of the ground for the garden and got to swim in the Loire River to cool off.

It wasn’t all work. We did get to take excursions into the nearby villages of Le Chambon, Roche-en-Régnier, Polignac and Le Puy. One day we made a long trip and stopped in Orange to the Roman amphitheater and to Marsiella.

In Orange, we toured the Roman amphitheater. It was dated to be older than the amphitheaters in Italy. At one time a whole city was inside the building. Everything from homes to business were run inside it’s walls. Ruins of an old temple were also located next door to the amphitheater.

Marsiella was amazing! We visited friends of my aunt and uncle’s in their home, where I was introduced to the French version of Kool-Aid. I became rather addicted and even brought home some with me. We toured the harbor, saw the Chateau D’If (one setting for Alexandre Dumas’ <u>The Count of Monte Cristo</u>) and went to the Notre Dame Cathedral.

It was on the hill up to this cathedral that the Americans overtook the Germans in World War II, saving France. Bullet holes still scar the face of the building. Inside, tiles thanking the Virgin Mary for miracles lined the walls. It made me so sad to see the glory that should have been given to God instead given to a mere human, sinful woman.

We visited a topless beach in Marielle. No, I wasn’t topless. All I wanted was a chance to wade in the Mediterranean Sea. I also took the opportunity to scoop up some of the tiny, smooth rocks that make up the beach. I still have them in a little glass jar that includes contains some of the water from the Sea.

I also had the chance to visit the highest peak overlooking the Mediterranean Sea in Europe. That was quite a view! The French mafia also liked to roll people in their cars off the edge of the bluff to get rid of bodies. It’s impossible to reach where these cars are, so when you look down at all the shining metal at the bottom near the water, you’re looking at someone’s tomb.

I was having the time of my life! Not only that, but my life was changing for the better… finally. I was finally able to hear God and hear what He wanted for me. I was becoming a better version of me.

I wish I could go into the detail only my mind can vividly enough show. Just being in France, away from everything I had ever known, was enough to awaken me from a depression I had been in for years. God sent me to France for many reasons. I was able to hear Him clearly there for the first time in my life.

I will forever treasure the time I spent in France. Even to this day I get a warm feeling when I think of France and the people there. It doesn’t take being a citizen of a third world country to need the love of Christ to be brought. Pray for the people of France. They have it a lot harder than we do, but they are on their way to making a change for the better in their government. With the new president, Nicolas Sarkozy, they may be able to become the great nation they have the potential to be.

I just wish America wanted to be as great as we used to be now.

I have so many stories I wish I could put here. Finding the secret door in the top of the wall; how I nearly drowned in the Loire River; hunting to see if someone had broken into the school after I heard a noise one night; discovering the ruins and caves around Roche-en-Régnier; how I popped a wheely on the tractor; getting my hair chopped off and dyed firetruck red, and so many other stories!

France will always be dear to me. I really hope I can take my children there one day. We have roots there, afterall.

Current Mood: Cool

There is the old saying that when God closes a door, He opens a window. I’m going to have to go with that right now.

Friday night I was out with David, John, Yoly and their cousin Zack and his girlfriend, Ilia. We went to Don Pablo’s for dinner and then planned to see Angels and Demons afterward. While at dinner, I got a phone call from my co-worker, Jerry. He told me that my boss was letting me go and that he would pay me the money he owed me. I’m not holding my breath to the the close to a grand he owes me. It would really come in handy, though.

Jerry told me that my now former boss said that when business picks up, he’ll bring me back. Again, I’m not holding my breath. I had a feeling it was coming to this anyways. I mean, the man couldn’t even afford to pay me $160 a week.

I’m really counting on Mary Kay to help me out while I look for a new job. If you want to host a party or get a free facial, please let me know and give me a call. My info can be found on my Mary Kay website.

Despite the bad news, I still had a lot of fun with everyone. Angels and Demons was so awesome! It followed the book really closely and it did a fantastic job turning one of my favorite books into a movie. I wasn’t disappointed!

Saturday night was the benefit dinner and dance for the Joseph Sams School. I had a lot of fun there. I got to dress all pretty and visit with the Coles and a lot of other people in my impending family. My mom and grandmother came as well. My grandmother is a big fan of Ferrol Sams, so she got to meet him. I hope that made her happy. She was happy at Christmas when David and I gave her autographed copies of his books.

David and I danced our first dance ever to “My Girl”. It was sweet. We also bid on a golden rose at the silent auction and won it. It really is pretty.

Sunday Lauren and I had our Mary Kay booth at the Taste of Fayetteville. Despite the rain, the cold and the fact we both got pretty miserable really fast, it was a productive time. We got a lot of leads and hopefully that will turn into a lot of customers.

After we enlisted David and John’s help in getting the tent and the table packed away, Lauren headed home and I went with David, John and Yoly to eat at O’Charley’s. We went to visit with family at GrandMom and Pop’s house afterward for Patty’s birthday. Pop seemed to be having a pretty good day. He at least knew who everyone was. We sang “Amazing Grace” for him as a family. It nearly made me cry. Even typing about it gets me teary-eyed.

Today I decided I needed a haircut. At least Mary Kay has been good enough to me that I could pay off some bills and get a haircut. I’m really happy with how it turned out, too. I’d highly recommend people going to The Ten Salon for their next haircut. You won’t be sorry! I told Leigh, the girl who cut my hair, that she gave me the exact haircut I have been trying to get other stylists to give me for a long time. It’s the best haircut I’ve ever had!

Now I have to look for another job. I’m not thrilled with it, but who would be? I know that God has His hand in everything and that I will be just fine. It doesn’t make this any easier. At least with my GPE job I knew that money would come in eventually. I guess I have the same situation with Mary Kay. I will make money with Mary Kay only if I put work into it. I have a lot of calls to make.

Please keep me in your prayers. Pray that God leads me to the job I need to have, whatever that may be.

Current Mood: Cool

I don’t know why, but today I was overcome with this sudden urge to email an ex of mine from 2007 and really let him have it for the things he said and did to me back then. Before today, it had totally just rolled off my back; but now I just want to rip him a new one.

I even went as far as to write him up an email. I had planned to send it from an anonymous email server, but decided against it. Although that’s nothing compared to how I wanted to send him dead silverfish in an envelope since he freaks out over those bugs. He’s terrified that they’ll eat his precious book collection.

What good would it do me? Jesus even said that even though our natural tendencies would lead us to seek “revenge” and to get our own form of justice, we shouldn’t. He said that vengeance belongs to Him, and I’m sure He can do a better job than me at “getting back” at people who do us an injustice.

The whole “turn the other cheek thing” sounds so weak compared to “an eye for an eye”. If it were up to our natural reactions, everyone who ever slapped my cheek would have the crap beat out of them.

It would be soooooo sweet to send a nasty email to this guy, tell him off, show him that I can find someone even better than him, or even send him that envelope full of bugs. But what good would it do me? It was two years ago all this happened and none of it has any bearings on my life right now. I read a quote one time that said something along the lines of revenge being a pleasure for the very weak and little minded. Obviously, I’m better than that.

Of course, we’ve all heard the old adage that the best revenge is to live well and love the offender. I can do that… and it won’t require any bugs.

Current Mood: Mischievous

It’s my birthday too, yeah!

Today is my 25th birthday. I’m half way to being fifty. If I live to be 100, I’m a quarter of the way there. I blogged about that early this week, but I still don’t feel like it’s a big number to be at. Ask me ten years ago and my 15-year-old self would have said it was a big number and one I wasn’t sure what would hold for me.

Age 15

Like I blogged about Tuesday, I see this birthday as a milestone. I’ve come a long ways since I was 15. Sadly, I was already trying to end my life at age 15 after the trauma I went through. Obviously, God wanted to keep me around for at least another ten years. I’m really glad He did. Ten years has changed me a lot. Not only has my outward appearance changed, but my thoughts, my attitude, my spirituality, my beliefs, my morals, my outlook on life, my political views and my interaction with people have all grown and matured with me. I am not the same person I was at 15, that is for sure.

I was almost sad to see my 24th year of life come to an end. It was a really good year to me. So much happened in those 12 months to change my life forever. The most prominent change of course is David coming into my life and us falling in love. With David came his family, who I also love very much and they love me. All of the Coles and their extended family have meant so much to me and I look at them as family as well.

My brother was gone the majority of the time for my 24th year. I miss him a lot and I really hate that I can’t see him on a daily basis like I used to. This is the first time in 21 years that Matthew hasn’t been here for my birthday. He was supposed to come home for my birthday, but he couldn’t make it. Hopefully he’ll come home to visit soon.

So, how am I celebrating my birthday today?

Thus far I have woken up twice this morning. The first time was around 1:00 AM when Matthew called me to wish me a happy birthday. That was a nice thing, though the timing wasn’t great. Really, I don’t mind. It’s so rare to hear from my brother that I’ll take the phone calls when they come.

Age 25

I got ready this morning and dropped David off at his work. I went and grabbed some Chick-fil-a for breakfast and took David some back at his office. Then I left and started making my way towards McDonough. I had planned to just take the day off, but decided last minute that I’d come into work instead. I’d rather sit where there are people rather than sit at home alone. I’d just be online anyways.

My mom and I have lunch plans, just not sure what time. Emily may join us since she can’t make it to my party later tonight.

Kris organized a birthday party for me tonight at my favorite sushi place. Hopefully we won’t crowd the place out. So far there are 15 confirmed guests coming and the sushi restaurant is a small place. Luckily it’s never that crowded. We can fit 15 people in the corner area and we’ll be fine.

Saturday my parents are taking me to Outback. David is coming and I hope his parents can join us. If they can’t, then it’s ok. Dr. Frank treated me as well as David, John and Yoly to Thai food last night. I’ll take that as a birthday dinner. Mmm… I had crispy duck. So good!

I’ve had a lot of birthday wishes come in on Facebook, Twitter and text messages. My mom called and sang happy birthday to me. Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday!

I thought it would be fun to do a survey about how things change in ten years. We can take a look at what ten years has done to Jill.

Ten Years Ago in February 1999:

1. How old were you?
15-years-old

2. Where did you go to school?
Henry County High. I was a sophmore.

3. Where did you work?
I didn’t.

4. Where did you live?
With my parents in McDonough, GA.

5. Where did you hang out?
Mostly at church or after school with the drama club.

6. Did you wear glasses?
I was supposed to, but I rarely did if I could get away with it.

7. Who were your best friends?
Tiffany Johnston, Stephanie Newman and some people from church. I hung out with Emily and Jonathan a little then too.

8. How many tattoos did you have?
Zero.

9. How many piercings did you have?
Two in my ears.

10. What car did you drive?
I didn’t. I only have my learners at that point. I guess I technically drove my mom’s van.

11. Had you been to a real party yet?
I suppose I have since I don’t know what a fake party is. All parties I’ve been to were real.

12. Had your heart broken?
Shattered is a better adjective to describe my heart at that point.

13. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter:
Single

Five Years ago in February 2004:

1. How old were you?
I was 20 years old.

2. Where did you go to school?
I was doing online schooling to learn to be a court reporter.

3. Where did you work?
I was a nanny.

4. Where did you live?
With my parents.

5. Where did you hang out?
With the college/singles group at church.

6. Did you wear glasses?
Yes.

7. Who were your best friends?
Emily, Jonathan, Amanda, Christina, Chrispy, Laura, Ben and Nik.

8. Who was your crush?
I think I had a crush on Ben.

9. How many tattoos did you have?
None.

10. How many piercings did you have?
Three my ears by then. I got the top of my ear pierced. I don’t even wear that one anymore.

11. What car did you drive?
My old Ford Explorer still. I got my PT Cruiser the next year.

12. Had you had your heart broken?
Yeah, it was still pretty broken from before.

13. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter:
Single

Today in February 2009:

1. How old are you?
25-years-old.

2. Where do you work?
For Georgia Parking Enforcement. I’m the secretary to the company and personal assitant to the president. We just became incorporated.

3. Where do you live?
Still with my parents. That hasn’t changed at all in ten years.

4. Do you wear glasses?
Yes. Just got two new pairs, even though I’m keeping my old ones.

5. Who are your best friends?
David, Emily, Krista, Laura, Jeremy, and Kris.

6. Do you talk to your old friends?
Sometimes. We’ve all just grown apart for different reasons.

7. How many piercings do you have?
Still just my ears…

8. How many tattoos?
None, though hopefully I’ll be getting one this month

9. Do you vote?
Yes, I do. Been voting since I was 18.

10. What are you goals for life?
Get engaged and married to David, have children, work hard, live my life for God and to be happy. Everything else is details.

11. What kind of car do you have?
My PT Cruiser.

12. Has your heart been broken?
It has been broken… a few times. But it’s healed now and full of love.

13. Single/Taken/Married/Divorced/Bitter:
Taken.

Now, I’m going to just chill at work till lunch. Then I’ll go pick up David at work and head to my party!