Jill Victoria

Only 64 more days until I’m married!

It’s so close and yet so far. I really hate that I can’t get more excited, I’m just in an anxious, anticipating mode. There is so much to do that I sometimes actually forget that I’m supposed to be soaking up these moments. How sad is that?

I went with my mom yesterday to do a hair run through with my stylist. The people at Damon’s Design (where my mom and David go for their haircuts) do a free run through for both hair and makeup, which ended up saving me some money. I really liked what Christine came up with. Next Wednesday I’ll go in for my makeup run through. I even decided to get highlights in my hair! *gasp*

While I was sitting in the stylist chair getting my hair played with, the first wave of tingles hit me. I’m getting married in just two months. Two months! I haven’t had the tingles since the day we toured the Hazelhurst House and both David and I fell in love with it. That was one of the last times it felt like we were getting married. The only other time I’ve come close to the tingles is when I tried on my dress.

It’s so easy to get caught up in all the prep work that you forget to enjoy what’s happening. Me losing my job didn’t help things. Suddenly we were down to one income, and that stressed both David and I out. Things look like they may be changing with that soon enough though.

It looks like all my showers now have dates set. The last weekend of the month I’ll have two showers; one on Saturday and one on Sunday. Emily and Krista, my Maids of Honor, along with my other bridesmaids, are giving the one Saturday at Lauren’s house. It’s a drop in from 3-5 PM. Sunday, David’s cousins are giving me a shower from 2-4 PM. I think I’ll be showered out that weekend! My mom’s best friend, Jane, also is giving me one. We’re pretty sure the date is for the 23rd of August, but it’s still up in the air. At least that will get all the showers people offered to give taken care of soon.

Now that the wedding is closer, things seem more exciting! For so long, people would ask me how wedding plans were going and I’d say “they’re done”. I’d get looked at like I was nuts! All the major plans were done back in March, seriously. We’re just down to the little details now.

One thing that has made me very sad recently is hearing through the grapevine what has been said about me and David by some people. Our relationship has been thought by some to not be “real”; that we don’t really love each other, we just don’t want to be alone. That stung, and it hurt deep.

What exactly am I supposed to do to “prove” my love for David? Am I supposed to be a giggling, squeeling, hang-all-over-him, silly girl who has to doodle “Jill and David” all over her Trapper Keeper? Sorry, but that’s not me. I can do things without David, go places, sit on another sofa than him, and have time to myself and still love David.

I have nothing to prove. Marriage is important to me. I don’t take it lightly and I wouldn’t marry anyone, not even David, if I didn’t love him. Not even to “not be alone”. I spent the majority of my life alone. I don’t have to settle to make myself feel like I’m accomplished.

Anyone who doesn’t support mine and David’s marriage doesn’t have to accept the invitation to come. RSVP: No. I won’t shed a tear.

Enough of that small drama. I’ve vented it and now I feel better.

I’ll post something less dramatic next time.

Other than that small jab, the tingles are still here. I’m excited for more wedding things to happen and to really get into the spirit of the whole thing! So far it’s been all making plans, setting plans, changing plans and more and more plans! This is the point I just want to see the results of the plans. I think it was all the planning that has made this seem not real. I’ve helped plan lots of events for people in the past years. They weren’t major things I was a part of, but when asked, I’d help make a plan. Now it’s me planning for myself. Wow. This is MY wedding we’re finally talking about!

It’s gonna be fun!

I have to share this video with you. This is a video of a wedding processional that I will never forget! I watched it last night on YouTube and got the same feelings from it that I get from the “feel good” movies. In my opinion, all weddings should be this full of joy! I won’t be dancing down the aisle, literally. My heart will be doing it’s on groove to the ridiculously happy music in my head as I make my way down the aisle to marry David.

One person argued in the comments section of the video that these people, bride and groom especially, were heretics and heading straight to hell for doing this at their wedding. According to this particular person, a wedding is supposed to be serious, solemn and not a cause for celebration. They compared it to entering into a courtroom where you were conducting business and that marriage was a contract with God to basically only populate the world.

It’s opinions like that that really worry me. The person also said in their comments that expressing joy and love at a wedding was what was wrong with marriage in America today. I’d have to disagree.

There are many things wrong with marriage in America, but being in love and filled with joy and happiness about being in love isn’t one of them. I would be a sad person indeed if my opinion of marriage was that it was just a religious contract and not something that bound people together in their shared love of each other.

If enough people heard that marriage was, as this individual believes, nothing more than a contract to be together and make babies (as they said that contraceptives were a weapon against God), then I can see that as to why people would not want to get married and just live together; or how they would see marriage as unhappy and end it in divorce.

In my opinion, marriage is a sacred bond made with vows before God. But, it is also a union of two people in love who want to express their love publicly by binding themselves together in marriage.

I’m positive that God was just as moved and happy as I was to see those two people in the YouTube video so much in love that they literally wanted to dance down the aisle.

There is the old saying that when God closes a door, He opens a window. I’m going to have to go with that right now.

Friday night I was out with David, John, Yoly and their cousin Zack and his girlfriend, Ilia. We went to Don Pablo’s for dinner and then planned to see Angels and Demons afterward. While at dinner, I got a phone call from my co-worker, Jerry. He told me that my boss was letting me go and that he would pay me the money he owed me. I’m not holding my breath to the the close to a grand he owes me. It would really come in handy, though.

Jerry told me that my now former boss said that when business picks up, he’ll bring me back. Again, I’m not holding my breath. I had a feeling it was coming to this anyways. I mean, the man couldn’t even afford to pay me $160 a week.

I’m really counting on Mary Kay to help me out while I look for a new job. If you want to host a party or get a free facial, please let me know and give me a call. My info can be found on my Mary Kay website.

Despite the bad news, I still had a lot of fun with everyone. Angels and Demons was so awesome! It followed the book really closely and it did a fantastic job turning one of my favorite books into a movie. I wasn’t disappointed!

Saturday night was the benefit dinner and dance for the Joseph Sams School. I had a lot of fun there. I got to dress all pretty and visit with the Coles and a lot of other people in my impending family. My mom and grandmother came as well. My grandmother is a big fan of Ferrol Sams, so she got to meet him. I hope that made her happy. She was happy at Christmas when David and I gave her autographed copies of his books.

David and I danced our first dance ever to “My Girl”. It was sweet. We also bid on a golden rose at the silent auction and won it. It really is pretty.

Sunday Lauren and I had our Mary Kay booth at the Taste of Fayetteville. Despite the rain, the cold and the fact we both got pretty miserable really fast, it was a productive time. We got a lot of leads and hopefully that will turn into a lot of customers.

After we enlisted David and John’s help in getting the tent and the table packed away, Lauren headed home and I went with David, John and Yoly to eat at O’Charley’s. We went to visit with family at GrandMom and Pop’s house afterward for Patty’s birthday. Pop seemed to be having a pretty good day. He at least knew who everyone was. We sang “Amazing Grace” for him as a family. It nearly made me cry. Even typing about it gets me teary-eyed.

Today I decided I needed a haircut. At least Mary Kay has been good enough to me that I could pay off some bills and get a haircut. I’m really happy with how it turned out, too. I’d highly recommend people going to The Ten Salon for their next haircut. You won’t be sorry! I told Leigh, the girl who cut my hair, that she gave me the exact haircut I have been trying to get other stylists to give me for a long time. It’s the best haircut I’ve ever had!

Now I have to look for another job. I’m not thrilled with it, but who would be? I know that God has His hand in everything and that I will be just fine. It doesn’t make this any easier. At least with my GPE job I knew that money would come in eventually. I guess I have the same situation with Mary Kay. I will make money with Mary Kay only if I put work into it. I have a lot of calls to make.

Please keep me in your prayers. Pray that God leads me to the job I need to have, whatever that may be.

Current Mood: Cool

I don’t have a lot to say today. I’m ready for tonight because it means David coming over and Ghost Hunters! Hopefully I’ll be getting paid today as well.

All of what I write will probably be random. Please just follow it as best you can because I don’t have a topic for this blog other than my life… which is very random.

This weekend is my mom’s birthday. We plan to take her to eat Korean for her birthday dinner on Saturday. Though I guess it’s technically a birthday lunch since my dad doesn’t want to go to the restaurant at night. He thinks it’s a high crime area. I can’t convince him otherwise. I’m looking forward to it though. Korean food is really yummy and my mom loves it.

I think it’s funny that when David and I first started dating people asked us from our first month “anniversary” and on from that when we’d get married. Now that we’re engaged and planning our wedding and marriage, people are asking when we’re going to get pregnant. One thing at a time, people! I don’t plan on getting pregnant any time soon, before or after the wedding. We have a plan to start trying for kids in about four or five years. We want to enjoy being married and making sure we’re fine before we bring another person into this relationship.

Why people seem to think that you can’t be getting married without being pregnant or because you want to get pregnant I’ll never understand.

I’m glad I don’t have any more wedding planning to do till June. People have asked a few times now over this week how the plans are coming. They’re all but done now, honestly. Everything is planned and everything is being handled by my excellent wedding coordinator, Leslie. It’s a total load off!

There was an article written about my company today in the Henry Herald. The only thing I don’t like about it is the reporter saying that the parking enforcement by these business is “contraversal”. How is enforceing the law contraversal? And don’t give me the bull of how it’s not fair to not let people park on private property and take up spaces for real customers. It’s not fair that people who run the business and either own or pay rent for the parking spaces are giving them up to people who aren’t doing business with them. If you want to keep it fair, don’t park in someone else’s parking lot and you won’t have to pay the $100 consequence.

Now I’ve gotten out all my random thoughts for the day. Now to just make it through the rest of the day.

Current Mood: Bored

My friend Meredith wrote a blog on her MySpace talking about spanking. I couldn’t agree with her more on what she had to say on the matter. Spanking is not a form of abuse as long as it’s an actual spanking and not a beating. There is a difference.

Spare the rod, spoil the child. Even the Bible says that spanking is acceptable. Several times.

Proverbs 13:24
A refusal to correct is a refusal to love;
love your children by disciplining them.

Proverbs 19:18
Discipline your children while you still have the chance;
indulging them destroys them.

Proverbs 22:15
Young people are prone to foolishness and fads;
the cure comes through tough-minded discipline.

Proverbs 23:13
Don’t be afraid to correct your young ones;
a spanking won’t kill them.
A good spanking, in fact, might save them
from something worse than death.


Proverbs 29:15, 17
Wise discipline imparts wisdom;
spoiled adolescents embarrass their parents.

Discipline your children; you’ll be glad you did—

I was spanked growing up. In fact, my last spanking I can remember was when I was 15 years old. After my mom popped me on the butt, I turned around and told her then that I was a little too old for that to affect me.

If I wanted to avoid being spanked, then I shouldn’t have done anything wrong, like disobey my parents. They found out that timeouts and restrictions didn’t really have an affect on me. So, their last resort was to bust my butt wide open. My mom used to tell me when I’d misbehave in public that she wasn’t afraid to pull down my pants in front of God and everybody and bust my butt.

And she would, too.

The first verse I listed (Proverbs 13:24) is one I like most. By disciplining out children, we show we love them. The phrase you hear from some parents to their children is “This hurts me worse than it hurts you”. A parent — or rather, a sane and descent parent — doesn’t want to hit their children! They don’t want to have to hurt them in any way, shape or form. But a good parent knows that sometimes you have to be tough if you’re going to teach your children. If you love your child, you want them to grow up to be respectful, polite, hard working and good members of society and to please God with their lives. Letting your children do whatever they want with no consequences just teaches them that they can do as they please when they’re older and get away with it.

Jesus said we are to give good gifts to our children. When a child wants a loaf of bread, we don’t give them a snake. Discipline is a gift we give our children. It’s not an easy gift to give, but it’s one that lasts a lifetime and does save them from a fate worse than death.

Did I like being spanked? Nope. But what child likes to be disciplined? We all want to be able to do what we want with no consequences for our actions. If we don’t teach our children that doing the wrong thing has consequences from an early age, then we get what we see today: spoiled, trouble making and disrespectful children who think that the world owes them something. I saw it every day when I was a substitute teacher.

I believe in spanking and my children will be spanked when they disobey. I want to teach my children right from wrong, no matter what it takes. And I dare anyone to say I am an abusive parent for correcting my child so that the judicial system doesn’t have to do it later.

And now for another topic:

I’m glad it’s Friday, even if I do have another work day of sorts tomorrow.

David and I go to our first wedding planning meeting with our coordinator, Leslie. I’m glad that we’ll be able to start the planning with someone who can actually make the stuff happen. David and I have thrown around ideas and so have family and friends. We like a lot of suggestions we’ve heard, but we also want to make sure that it’s mine and David’s personality that shines through the most in this wedding. I want it to be unmistakably about Jill and about David.

Hopefully the process is an easy one.

Current Mood: Bored

I’m overwhelmed. I want to scream and cry and just give in and give up! I feel weighed down by worries, by insecurities, by things that are starting to build up in my life. I don’t want to feel this way when I’m supposed to be feeling happy, excited and joyful over mine and David’s upcoming wedding.

I feel hurt, betrayed and stressed out completely. It’s big things, it’s little things and it’s things that keep getting brought up over and over or just recycled in another form. Some things aren’t even my problem, but they’ve somehow become it. I can’t handle all of this right now. I can feel the veins in my temples swelling already with a migraine coming on.

I need prayer, because I feel like mine aren’t good enough. Sometimes, like right now, I feel like my prayers hit the ceiling or that God’s stopping up his ears going “la la la! I can’t hear you!”. Of course, I know He’s not doing that; it’s just how I feel right now.

I know it will pass, because God takes care of me. I’ve always come out on top before in bad situations. Just right now I feel left out in the cold.

And don’t talk to me about lemons and lemonaid. I hate lemonaid! If anything, I’ll be throwing those lemons at people who cross my path right now! I just want to take everything out on others, even though I know I shouldn’t and that it’s wrong to. God is keeping my mouth shut on a lot of things right now. I hope it’s worth it.

It’s like someone wants to just squeeze all the happiness right out of me. Like someone finally caught on that I was doing really well with my life and had to throw a wrench in it. I know who to blame for all that, and that’s why I need prayer. I’m being attacked. And that’s why I want to attack back… only my aim will probably hit someone who doesn’t deserve the hit.

Yet I know it’s not the stress that kills us, it’s our reaction to it. That’s why I know that taking it out on someone else is not the answer. If I hurt someone I love because of my situations, then that would not help in the least bit.

Current Mood: Sad

I had a thought when I walked through a set of automatic doors today. I love those type of doors. I always feel like a Jedi when I go up to them and they open. Or like I’m royalty and they open automatically for me to pass through, because obviously my hands are too delicate to touch a door.

Anyways, the thought was that we walk up to these doors and know that they will open for us. We approach them with such confidence, not breaking our stride. We can have faith that these doors will open for us all on their own without us having a hand in it, and we won’t walk into them. Yet we have a hard time accepting that God can open a door for us to pass through.

Of course I mean a metaphoric door. We find ourselves heading towards a door that is closed in our lives and worry that we can’t get it open. My life has taught me that if God brings you to a door, it’s going to open. Sometimes whether you want it to or not.

In three days I will be 25-years-old. I’m excited about this birthday because, for some reason I’m not even sure of, I see it as a milestone to reach. I’ll have lived a quarter of a century. I’ll be halfway to 50 and five years closer to 30.

Honestly, 25 years doesn’t seem like that long of a time. I think of the people I know who are older, wiser and better at living life to the fullest than I am. Even people who have been married as long as I’ve been alive or longer. Those numbers seem a lot more impressive. Twenty-five is almost a laughable number of years when it comes to experiencing what life has to offer.

I think we grow up with ideas of things we’re supposed to do and accomplish in our lifetime. Sometimes those objectives even have a time frame in mind. For me, it was to drive by 16, graduate high school at 18, move out by 20 and be married by 22. Obviously, half of my life plan didn’t work out how I expected it to.

When I turned 22, I was really upset that I hadn’t moved out or met the guy I was going to marry. I felt like a failure. I was living at home working part time as a substitute teacher and I hadn’t been on a date in my life. My reasoning for setting age 22 as my goal for marriage was based on the fact that the majority of the women in my family were married either before or at age 22. My grandmother got married at 17, my mom was 22 and so was my cousin Rachel.

I’m very glad now that I didn’t get married at 22-years-old. Not only would it mean I wouldn’t be with David, but I honestly wasn’t ready for something like marriage. I wasn’t mature enough or even stable enough in my own life to be a part of someone elses.

So much has happened in my life since I was 22. I was reading old blogs from that time of my life on my MySpace blog. I have changed so much since then, and that was only three years ago. Now, I am in a place in my life; emotionally, financially, spiritually and mentally, to be someone’s wife. To be David’s wife, specifically.

God knows what he’s doing. That’s plainly obvious.

I thought I was ready for the marriage door to open at age 22 because I decided that was the time. I’m glad that that door stayed closed for another three years. Now it will open automatically for me when I approach it this next time.

Things will always happen when they’re supposed to.

Current Mood: Cool

I made myself get on the scales today. For the record, I hate weighing myself. Seeing that number makes me want to take drastic measures, like becoming bulimic. Especially since I’d like to vomit every time I get a glimpse of what my actual weight is.

I have lost a pound. Yep, one pound of fatness is gone! I think that is rather fast, but I won’t complain!

Nik told me yesterday in a comment on MyFitnessPal.com that she couldn’t believe that my goal was to lose 145lbs. It’s true. I am 145lbs over weight. My goal is to get down to 135lbs like I was in high school. I can live with being 135lbs and I see it as a reasonable goal. I’d be a size 10 or 12 (depending on who makes the clothes) because I still have hips and large breasts. The breasts have always been big, they didn’t grow much with weight gain.

So, I’m sure someone wants to know how much I really weigh. I’ll put it out there: I weigh 280lbs. Yep, that’s right. I’m right there, just 20lbs shy of being 300lbs. You’d never know by looking at me that I weigh that much. I carry my weight well, but it’s not an excuse for being as heavy as I am. It’s unhealthy, unattractive and not who I deserve to be.

Was it hard to just share how much I actually weigh? It most definitely was. I was comfortable with people believing I weighed much less than I do. I’m hoping that this, sharing with people I know, love and even complete strangers, that I weigh that much will embarrass me into losing weight. Hell, my boyfriend reads my blog! Do you think I want him to know how much I weigh? I’m heavier than he is.

I could blame my weight on someone or something, but I’m the only one in control of my life. If I have one creed for how life should be, it’s that you have to own what you do and who you are and whatever situation you find yourself in. The common factor in every single problem you have is YOU. I won’t blame my weight on my past, some medical issue that I’m not sure is the cause or the fact that fast food is easily available to me. Blaming something (or someone) doesn’t make it better.

Till now I was settling for my weight. I am not completely happy with the way I am now, even though I did learn to deal with my size as far as dressing and how I present myself. Enough is enough, though. I want to live a long time on this earth and I want to look good while doing it!

Thing is, I know that even if I don’t lose all of the 145lbs before my wedding (which I know won’t happen, believe me!), David will still think I’m beautiful. He loves me just the way I am and I know he’ll love me not matter how I look. Fatty or not, he loves me. And that is encouragement enough.

I’m having a good hair day. That makes me happy! I think I may have found the right combination of how to style my hair at this new length with new products. A combo of new and old works well.

Last night David and I went to Sam’s Club and got a membership. David has been wanting to get a membership for about a month now. He wants to buy things in bulk (and cheap) to sell at his work. I figure it will come in handy for other things, like gas. Maybe I’ll get insurance with them and get my vision done there or something. I am in desperate need of new glasses. I want to try contacts, too. I really don’t want to wear glasses in my wedding, but contacts scare me. Whatever. I’ll be blind if I have to.

For anyone else with a Sam’s Club membership, I got the SlimQuick product they have for women there. It was a double pack of the cleanse and then the dietary supplement for $25.00. You also get a sample of the powder you can put in your water that also assists in weight loss. In case you didn’t know, SlimQuick alone usually costs around $30 to $40 for a month supply. This was like getting two for the half off price of one! I’ve used it before and did get results, so if my fellow MyFitnessPal people want to use it too, then I recommend it.

I’m making carne asada tonight. It’s Kris’s recipe and Kris is a fantastic cook! I just hope mine is half as good as her’s. I had to marinate it last night in order to cook it today. And I’m going to make guacamole, also from a Kris recipe. I need to go get some chips after work… and some shredded lettuce. I think I’m going to eat my carne asada with some fixings.

My car was doing funky things this morning. I may have to run it by my mechanic when I get off work today. The check engine light came on and it was doing this weird vibrating thing as I was letting it warm up this morning. I’m hoping it’s just the cold weather affecting it and it’s nothing serious.

With my luck, it’s something that will cost thousands to fix.

Current Mood: Happy

Today was Ms. Bobbi’s memorial service. I didn’t go. I planned on it, I took the time off for it, I dressed for it. I just didn’t go. I have a hard time with long good-byes. I’d rather remember Ms. Bobbi as alive and well somewhere rather than temporarily out of my life.

It was a weird day anyways. When I went to bed last night I felt nauseous and had a headache starting. As soon as I woke up this morning I felt fine. It wasn’t until I got in the shower that I started to feel the nausea again. In the end, I vomited up my supper. Regardless, I felt a lot better afterward.

All week long I had nothing to do at work. Today when I go and get my money from my boss he gives me a whole stack of stuff to do. It was stuff I could have been working on all week rather than trying to cram it into a day that was already going to be cutting it close. Ah well, that’s just how he works.

So, I worked for a while and then went to lunch with Emily and Carla and Carla’s little baby girl Julia. It was nice to have a time with some girls, especially ones I can gossip with for a bit.

On my way back to the office I met up with my boss. A song on the radio had made me get teary eyed over Ms. Bobbi and I was in the beginning stages of a cry when I met up with my boss. Of course, he asked me what was wrong and as soon as anyone asks me what’s wrong I always start to sob. My boss hugged me, which was kinda odd, but nice of him. I never really pictured my boss as a hugger. Later on he told me to make sure I had a jacket with me tonight. That amused me. I think he was channeling my mom.

For dinner tonight I will be going with David and his family to Pascal’s. I just hope I feel like eating. After throwing up today I am lucky to have kept down lunch.

I know I have used my own blog to express some personal views and opinions a lot lately, but that’s what my blog is for. Blogs are created for many different types of reasons. Some people create a blog with a specific subject and audience in mind. That’s not the case here. I honestly created my blog in order to have a place to record my life, express my views, my opinions and present a little bit more of myself to anyone who chooses to stop by and read. If I piss some people off along the way, that’s fine with me. I really do believe it should go without saying that this space is mine. It belongs to Jill. The content here is subject to change and is not put here to please everyone. I know good and well what I say won’t make everyone happy, but I won’t change just to please someone else.

So, seeing as that last paragraph should have gone without saying, it’s been said anyways. First Amendment and all that are a given. You don’t have the right to not be offended by what I say, do or believe. The easiest thing to do when you see something you don’t like or agree with is to leave it alone. Change the channel, avoid the website, buy a nanny guard for your TV, internet, etc.

Wow, I rant a lot lately. Maybe I have some pent up frustration working it’s way out. Better on here than as gray or white hairs on my 24-year-old head! I already pull those out of David’s head.

It’s close to six o’clock and I’m actually getting hungry. There may be hope for lobster afterall! I just need David to hurry up now.

Current Mood: Mischievous

This is one of those weeks that just drags by. At least for me it has. I’ve heard other people differ in that opinion. Honestly, it’s like this week has been two weeks in one. But then again, I also feel like Christmas was a month ago.

I will be glad to see tomorrow come. Hopefully Friday I will be trying lobster for the first time at a place called Pascal’s in Peachtree City. Then on Saturday I’ll be going up to Old Buford Highway with my mom (maybe my dad if he doesn’t have to work), David, maybe his parents if we ask and they decide to go and Kris to eat Korean food for lunch. Saturday night is girls’ night out with Emily, Laura, Lauren and Krista. At least that’s who I know for sure is coming. We’ll be having sushi and then going to see the Bride Wars movie.

That kinda ties into my rant about how I don’t understand the competition of weddings. Who cares what food you had, the colors used or even what dress is worn? In less than a year people will forget and so will you in time. The one thing that is supposed to last from that day on is the marriage. A wedding is a ceremony that brings two people together and a celebration of that. It’s not a party and it doesn’t warrant going into debt, foreclosure or bankruptcy.

Honestly, one of the worse weddings I ever went to was one that cost a lot of money. Some of the nicest weddings I’ve attended were low cost and solely about the couple and the families coming together. David and I will have a big wedding, but that’s going by attendance only. We both have very large families and we have friends, most of whom will be in the wedding party, who will be coming whenever we finally set the date. As far as decorations, it will be minimal. My dress will be cheap. The church will be free. If we use my aunt as the minister (which I’m not sure how my family will feel about that) then I’m sure she will do it for free. Hopefully we can use a historic home owned by David’s family for the reception and that will be low to no cost. Food will be finger foods. I refuse to feed that many people. And it’s not like people don’t go to weddings for free food and drinks anyways.

I know I’ve ranted about weddings twice now this week. But I really just don’t get the big deal about weddings. I’d rather the people be there for me and David because they love us and are happy for us rather than wondering if they enjoyed their dinner and a show.

Friday (tomorrow) is also the memorial service for Ms. Bobbi. It’s in Fayetteville at 4:00, which is convenient for me since I go there on Fridays anyways. She was cremated, as she wished. I really had hoped to see her again, even if it was her in a casket. Since she had been back to work at Moye’s Pharmacy with my mom I hadn’t gotten to see her. She worked till noon on Mondays and Fridays, so not exactly a time I would be stopping by. I feel guilty for not seeing her. I visited her in the extended care home she was in for rehabilitation after she had her aneurysm. I just wish I had seen her more, even if no one knew this was about to happen.

Hopefully on this coming Monday I will be able to upgrade to a Blackberry. I just need to pay off this phone bill, which I can’t do till Friday. I was planning on having my money from my boss already, but that hasn’t happened. I’m hoping he will just pay me for two weeks tomorrow.

I really am feeling this new layout. I changed the font colors for a lot of things. Now I just need to get the flickr code to work and fill in the banner ads and I will be happy