Jill Victoria

For my birthday I received an Amazon Kindle. For someone like me who is both an avid reader as well as a tech junkie, the Kindle was blending the best of both worlds to me!

After owning the Kindle second generation for nearly a month, I believe I can give a good review on the product.

I have nothing but good things to say about the Kindle. Right from the moment I turned it on, it has been nothing but easy to use and an item I can now not see myself without. The device is very easy to use. So much so that instructions are nearly needless. I just skimmed through the very short user guide before throwing it away.

The technology used in the Kindle is very cool. The screen on the device looks just like the page of a book, but better. The screen displays the words and pictures in greyscale and uses eInk technology to put the text on the screen without a backlight. I love this, because backlights just cause stress on the eyes after long reading. I believe this is why I (and others) can’t seem to read for long periods of time on a computer.

A quick sidenote on this. I’ve read reviews of people saying they’d like the Kindle better if it had a backlight so they could read in the dark. I believe these people are missing the point of this technology. My suggestion? Either buy a booklight that Amazon sells for the Kindle, or wait and get the iPad the Apple community is salivating over.

Back to my review:

Even being the avid reader I was all my life, I was still pretty slow at getting through a book. I believe now it was because it was hard to bring a book with me most of the time because of the weight and bulk. Not so with my Kindle. I’m not just bringing one book with me, but many. The Kindle has the capacity to hold up to 1,500 books! I’m not sure I have even ever owned that many books in my 26 years of life. For someone who wants her books at her fingertips, this is great! I’m looking forward to taking a whole collection of books with me on my next vacation and having it take up less room than my wardrobe.

One of my favorite things about my Kindle is that I can download a book instantly and begin reading, no matter where I am. I’m the type to read a book and want to read a sequel (if there is one) and then put off buying the book for months. With the Kindle, not only is the book ready when I am, it downloads in less than 60 seconds and is much cheaper than it’s paper equivalent.

There are some experimental features on the Kindle are experimental. It has the ability to browse the web, but most sites won’t display the way they would on a computer screen. It also is able to hold music, but the amount and quality are not going to be like your iPod. This is, after all, a reading device.

Overall, I give this product a big thumbs up/gold star/10 out of 10 rating. I love the Kindle and I love the ease of reading it gives me. I have read more in the few weeks I’ve owned the Kindle than I have in years. Already I’m on my sixth book this month. The Kindle is lightweight (lighter than most paperbacks) and very easy to hold. It comes with a built in dictionary as well as a way to make notes and highlight the context.

I also recently purchased a cover for the Kindle, and that helps me feel better about putting it in my purse. Amazon has many covers and other accessories for the Kindle.

I highly recommend this product to anyone who is a book lover. It may not be paper and leather, but it is just a enjoyable and delightful as a solid book.

Two years ago in Valentine’s Day of 2008, I was dumped by my then boyfriend. Even though it was not the most pleasant thing in the world to endure on a day I wasn’t already fond of, that day turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened to me.

I knew it was over with Thomas way before Valentine’s Day. In all honesty, I was pretty relieved when he broke up with me. Thomas was a nice guy, but definitely not the guy for me.

By that day, I had already met and gone on a blind date with David. I suppose it could be considered cheating, but the date I went on with David was chaperoned by Krista and Spencer, and nothing even close to romantic happened other than David opening the car door for me.

Its hard to believe that a break up on Valentine’s Day two years ago lead me to a marriage. But, I suppose that every break up eventually leads to a marriage. Or at least to a long-term relationship.

That breakup was just one of the stepping stones on the way to my husband and the love of my life. Not every ending destroys a happily ever after.

Bullying is not an uncommon thing to happen. I’m sure that everyone reading this was bullied at some point in their lives. We can relate to it, and we still deal with it even in adulthood. I found a whole group of bullies on a forum recently. There really is no escape from these people. But there is an escape from the affects bullies have on our lives.

At school, I was bullied mercilessly for years.

In fourth grade it was especially worse. I ended up in a class with a group of girls who must have made it their life’s ambition to kill me. Believe me, the thought crossed my mind. How many times did I have to hear that I was fat, ugly, a dog, stupid, and that no one wanted me there?

I went to the school councilor for help, but she never seemed to want to do anything for me. I had terribly low self-esteem and it affected who I was. My teacher eventually intervened and made the girls apologize, but it didn’t stop them from their torment of me.

When I entered middle school, things didn’t improve. My sixth grade year had me facing one of the worst bullies I’d ever have to deal with. That was the first time I ever heard the word “bitch”, let alone was called one. Her exact nickname for me was “Hepatitus C Bitch”. Why? Heck if I know! She probably didn’t even know. I did have a breakdown at lunch one day when she just sat there and called me it over and over again. I reached across the table and punched her in the face. Yep. I sure did. She tattled on me, and after I told my teacher everything that she had done to me since the beginning of the school year, I was not punished.

Seventh grade I dealt with rumors. I developed large breasts early on, and of course that meant I was talked about. I was accused of stuffing my bra, and even having sex or being pregnant as a result. The worst rumor I remember was that my dad was molesting me, and THAT was how I got big boobs.

One of the worst things about my bullying is losing two friends during it. My best friends became friends with some of the very girls who tormented me, meaning that at their birthday, I had to face them there. It didn’t take long till I was the outcast, and they were the popular girls.

The kids who tormented me probably to this day don’t know what I went through. In fact, when they left off with the name calling and abuse, I picked up and kept it going. Even now I have to stop myself from calling myself the things I was called in elementary school.

Am I ugly? A dog? Trash? Stupid? A freak? Unworthy of love? Unworthy of life? Am I not good enough? No, I am not any of those things, but the bullies beat it into me. That’s what I heard nearly every day from primary to middle school.

For a long time, I let people bully me. Even after high school I was bullied in the workplace or even at church. I finally started to value myself when I actually decided to not let others affect how I felt about myself.

Do the old wounds still fester? Oh yeah, and they run deep. But then, I have learned to value myself for who and what I really am. I am truly blessed in life. Facebook has helped me keep up with some of the people who made my childhood miserable, and I believe I’ve come out better than the majority of them. I have a husband who loves me, a wonderful family and the best friends anyone could ask for.

I let the bullies win for a very long time. Then I realized who I am and began to see that the bullies in life will never stop. I had to rise above it, tell myself the truth and win this war I fought with my attackers for so long.

They won the battles, but I win the war.

I am wonderfully me.

I win.

I was out and about the other day when I accidentally eavesdropped on a woman on her cell phone. She was talking rather loudly, so you can’t blame me for hearing her.

What she said kinda shocked me. Maybe it’s because I’m a newly wed still, or maybe it’s just because I was raised to and still do believe a marriage is a lifelong commitment… unless he/she is abusing the crap out of you.

What the loud talking woman said was: “I’m ready for the next one. This was just my starter marriage. It’s normal”.

I literally said out loud: “Really?”.

She didn’t hear me though. Could have been bad.

Is that the new trend? Marry someone, see how you like it and then “break up” with them? I know that the TV show “The Starter Wife” is/was pretty popular. Did that set off this new term and thinking?

I don’t get the concept of this “starter marriage” trend that I’m now aware of. From what I understand, the concept is that you should marry a first time to prepare you for the “real thing”. Um, did I miss something? Isn’t that what dating is? You date someone to see how you like the person and relationship. That was how I prepared for the “real thing” of this thing called marriage.

The “rules” of a starter marriage are the participants have to be in their 20s or early 30s, the marriage last one to three years, have no children and the split is amicable. When does any break up happen with no hard feelings?

I knew already the statistic of 50% of first marriages ending in divorce, then 67% of second marriages, and nearly 74% of third marriages. But seriously, a starter marriage? You needed practice first, so you married a dud while you waited for a stud?

The experts claim that romance coupled with unrealistic ideas of what marriage means is the culprit in a lot of these starter marriages. Couples enter into marriage with the romantic dream of soul mates and constant togetherness. Then reality sets in and no one wants to deal with it.

Sorry. But marriage isn’t something you just decide to do to see how it goes. It’s not like deciding to start yoga or a baking class. Try it on for size and then slip it off. It just doesn’t make sense!

Starter homes I can understand. Starter cars, starter careers, starter bras even. But a marriage? Something you invest your whole heart and life into? No. It doesn’t work that way.

My marriage: Till death do we part.

I don’t have the energy to get married again!

Now that I’ve found myself on the “other side” of the marriage line, I am starting to realize more and more the unspoken animosity between married women and single women.

As a newly married woman in my twenties, I’m more aware of how TV and some of the single ladies I’ve encountered in my life view marriage. Sex and the City gives single women of all ages a reason to feel like their lives are just fine without a man. The women in that show helped me feel like being single, even in my early twenties, was a badge of honor. I could go out, socialize, flirt and be seen as powerful and independent because of my single status. Being single is great! I enjoyed my single days and I felt empowered to be a single woman at times.

What I hate hearing is how some single women (notice I said some, not all) say things like “I’m single because I want more from life” or “I’m just not settling for some guy“.

I can promise you, married women didn’t just “settle” for some guy and we certainly didn’t get married because we wanted dull and uneventful lives! We want just as much out of life as the next single lady.

I’m all for single women feeling empowered, just as I did when I was single. No woman should need a man to define who she is or to make her way in life. At the same time, single women who act like a married woman has given up who she is and shunned her independence for her husband are just wrong. I am just as empowered by my marriage as I was by my singlehood.

Gone are the days when a single woman in her late twenties and up were considered “spinsters” or “old maids”. With the way some view married women these days, the views have flip-flopped at best. Single ladies are viewed as courageous, powerful and independent, while married women seem to be viewed as women who want a quite, dull life with no sense of excitement or adventure.

Honestly, I don’t see what this change in relationship status has to do with who we are as women. I, even as a married woman, am still independent, powerful and courageous. If anything, I see married women as being the more courageous because they put it all on the line for a marriage, to be part of a partnership in life. It’s a scary and life altering move, I promise you that! It take courage and a powerful sense of self to pull it off. It certainly isn’t settling.

Not only does it take courage to be married, but it also take courage to face what marriage brings. I’m not just talking about bills, money issues and the like. Getting married usually means a change in name, address, families and even friendships. It hurts me at times when I hear my single friends say they didn’t think to invite me to something because they thought I’d be too busy doing “married people things”. I’m still me! I’m still Jill, your friend. Marriage doesn’t put me in an exclusive club where I’m a totally different and unreachable person.

Just as a single woman shouldn’t be punished for her single status, a married woman shouldn’t either.

Whatever happened to falling in love and taking a chance? You can still be who you were as a person married as you were single. I think that both married women and single women should be able to carry the titles of “powerful”, “courageous” and “independent” together, because we’re all women.

Even the women in Sex and the City realized they were still who they were, regardless of a ring on the finger and a Mrs. in front of their name.

I decided a few years ago that I just don’t dig the New Year’s Resolutions. They’re great for everyone who wants to make them, but not me.

I prefer to make resolutions when the notion strikes me, and not just because its a new year.

I’ve seen people on Twitter and Facebook say that 2010 is a new beginning, a chance to wipe your slate clean. I beg to differ. A new year doesn’t clean your slate. You don’t hit the reset button and everything you did from 2009 back is gone. Why would you want that anyways?

I’d rather add more to my slate rather than wipe it clean. My choices aren’t always the best, but they make me who I am. I get one chance at this life God has given me and I refuse to see a new year as my life being cleaned away.

Maybe I just don’t see the new year the way most do. I won’t make resolutions to change my life when I’m not mentally ready for it, and I won’t pretend my life has a reset button at the stroke of midnight every January 1st.

I will, however, make my list of goals. Totally different than resolutions. Resolutions are breaking down a complex situation into simpler ones; goals are things to work towards.

My goals will be my next blog.

I’ve done this a few years now, either on my old MySpace blog or in my personal handwritten journals. It’s amazing to see what I’ve experienced and learned in just 365 days. Being able to look back to see everything in one place does add to realizing that A) Life is a constant learning experienced and that B) I am truly blessed.

Here is my list of what I’ve learned in 2009:

• * Just because something starts off on the wrong foot doesn’t mean you won’t land steady on the other foot.
• * People are definitely not who they say they are in every situation. Something I’ve known, but was reiterated.
• * Despite your age, girls are still just as ready to rip you to pieces over nothing; especially in online forums.
• * Big, life changing things come in small packages. Like fortune cookies.
• * There will always be someone jealous of you.
• * Rumors never cease to amaze me.
• * Vietnamese food is amazing!
• * So is Korean.
• * My PT Cruiser an hold five people and a ton of luggage and still make it back in one piece from Florida.
• * I don’t get sea sick!
• * Prayer works in amazing ways!
• * Losing people, even ones you didn’t know long, is never easy.
• * Getting married is everything and nothing like I expected it to be.
• * In the end, I know what’s best for me despite what others believe.
• * Wedding dresses weigh a million pounds!
• * By the end of each year, you know exactly who your true friends are. This can change again by the end of the following year.
• * Strawberry shortcake wedding cake is the best ever!
• * Karma. She’s a biznitch.
• * God provides, even in ways not thought possible.
• * The weather man can be very, very wrong! 70% chance of rain on a wedding day? NEVER HAPPENED! Not even a drizzle! God did it
• * Cooking is not as hard as I thought it was.
• * More and more each day, I know that I married my best friend and love of my life.
• * Green tea with mixed berries is fantastic!
• * It’s really great having more family now.
• * You never know when someone might get married… like my baby brother!
• * Having a house is a big chore, and a big blessing!
• * Whenever you run out of good music, iTunes helps.
• * Fernandina, FL is probably one of the most perfect vacation spots.
• * The Bahamas are not what you think they are.
• * The Florida Keys are amazing!
• * I so love my pink BlackBerry.
• * I miss having a puppy.
• * Pandora charms are really cool.
• * Discount shopping is great! Brand names at half the price!
• * Having two sets of parents now is really nice.
• * Having a sister-in-law, a brother-in-law and a future sister-in-law is pretty awesome. I especially dig the sister-in-law.
• * Knowing that my husband loves my cooking is encouraging.
• * I have good decorating skills, apparently.
• * I still have more unread books than I should.
• * Blogging, Twitter and Facebook have really helped me express myself, but it’s also helped me learn more about myself.
• * Marriage isn’t scary. I was so afraid!
• * Blue eyes are so pretty.
• * Nothing beats waking up next to the man you love every morning.
• * The job market sucks.
• * The majority of Americans are too naïve for their own good.
• * Trust is crucial. I know who I can trust.
• * Fayetteville has no real buffalo wings place, and that really sucks!
• * Life can be a fairytale, just don’t expect the pixie dust.
• * PJ’s Cafe has the best grilled chicken sandwich… ever!
• * There is always hope.
• * Sometimes you have to carry your friend when they’re down, till someone else totally puts them back on their feet.
• * I am so loved.
• * Dream weddings can happen.
• * Weaving is fun.
• * Life changes… a lot.
• * I have an old soul, but a young body.
• * College is great! Especially online.
• * Steak and fries on a salad? Not as weird as you’d think.
• * Road trips are still the best thing to do with friends.
• * World of Warcraft is indeed for dorks. I am now one of them.
• * Chowbaby is a picky food eater’s paradise!
• * I’ve gotten my happily ever after.

There is my list. I know I’ll think of more things, and then probably add them on. I’m curious as to what any readers out there might have learned this year. Tell me! Life is one big learning experience, after all!

During the Christmas holidays, you see and hear the phrase “Keep Christ in Christmas” everywhere. It’s no surprise, seeing the way that Christmas is viewed by some.

There are the people who say that Christmas is too commercialized and that Santa has kidnapped the baby Jesus and taken His place at the center of the holiday. I just don’t see this as so.

If Christ is missing from Christmas, it’s because Christians are failing to recognize their own religious holiday for what it is. Christmas is a CHRISTIAN holiday, so therefore people of other faiths or non-believers won’t celebrate the way a Christian will.

Christians get so offended when someone says “Happy Holidays” as opposed to “Merry Christmas” to them. I don’t. Why should I? As a Christian, it’s up to me to tell the story of Jesus’ birth, not a store’s, a non-believer or any other outlet’s. Boycotting stores because of “Happy Holidays” is just ridiculous.

We need to remember as Christians that this is our holiday. If you don’t like the commercialism of it all, then don’t buy into it… literally. If you don’t want your children to see Santa as a central Christmas figure, then don’t raise them to believe in him. Keep Christmas as you see fit.

The Obama’s wanted to celebrate a “non-religious Christmas” in the White House this year as a way of making a Christian holiday “more inclusive”. If they, as a proclaimed Christian family, want to neutralize Christmas in their home, then that’s their prerogative. But expecting a religious holiday to bow to the politically correct needs of others is just insulting. Saying you want a “non-religious Christmas” is like saying you want a non-political campaign run. Christmas is a religious holiday for Christians, regardless of what anyone wants it to be.

Then there are the global warming zealots like Mary Armstrong of Cazenovia, NY. In a letter to the editor of Syracuse.com, Armstrong states her opinion that we should do away with Christmas as a way to combat global warming. If Ms. Armstrong believes so strongly that a lack of this holiday will save our planet, then she can practice this belief on her own.

There are obviously many people out there who will make Christmas into anything and everything but what it is: a time to celebrate the birth of a Savior; a time to celebrate the bonds of family through blood; friendship and faith, and a time to wish peace on earth and good will toward our fellow man.

Christmas is what it is. Traditions change, views on the holiday change and how we celebrate evolves with time. Keeping Christ in Christmas is easy, because despite what a secular world might say or do, Christ will always remain. The only way Christ will leave Christmas is if His followers abandon Him.

J-ill Vic-tor-i-a C-ole/ jl vk-tôr-, -tr- kl \ n. A girl becoming a woman who is constantly growing into herself day by day. Believes in personal freedoms, less government, God, Jesus, miracles and true love. Open-minded. One who believes in the paranormal, dressing her best every day, and that she is blessed in many ways. Also has a playful nature and sarcastic sense of humor and some wit to her. Enjoys writing, reading, traveling, being with friends and family, a good story and improving things around her. Crafty, funny, polite, well-spoken, accomplished, intelligent and loyal. Loves heels, nice clothing at a good price, and wearing cute bras and panties. Fond of spending time online or in a comfy chair with a book. Known as a frequent Tweeter and Facebooker. Found in the suburbs, her husband’s arms and on this blog.

How do you define yourself?

As I’ve grown, I’ve really marveled at the different qualities I have that make me… me. I love to see the small quirks and traits that make up my personality, just as much as I like to see the small quirks that other people have.

I’m going to list five things that I think make me different than other people. I’d be interested to see what others think their three unique traits are.

1) I’m the queen of multitasking! I can watch TV, read, and hold a conversation all at the same time. Even now, I’m blogging, chatting, uploading pictures and listening to music at the same time!

2) I can’t be scared. I have nerves of steel. The only things I’m afraid of are dolls, clowns and storms.

3) I’m loyal to a fault. I’m the type where you can dismiss me, throw me aside and treat me like dirt, but I’ll still be there for you later when you need me. I’m just empathetic that way.

4) I am an extremely picky eater. I won’t touch any ground meat, onions, peppers, certain parts of chicken, ham, bacon strips, turnip greens, food items that I can’t identify…

5) I’m good at picking up on songs. I can hear it a couple of times all the way through and sing along with it the next time I hear it.

What makes you who you are?